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Thread: Ready to Give Up, plus a few questions

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Colorado Springs
    Posts
    713

    Default Re: Ready to Give Up, plus a few questions

    also: ignore all household chores. get your DH or SO or friends t do the dishes, laundry anything. have your husband cook dinner, or a friend bring you a big mac. get them to watch the baby for 10 minutes so you can take the much needed shower. have fast snacks in the freezer/fridge. fruits make a good snack as do hotpockets. i ate chimichangas all the time the first mongth and a half. i also kept crackers near the bed so during nursing maratho9ns i didnt starve.

    also invest in a 38oz cup for water. nothing worse than running out while stuck nuersing

    Luna Justine: born January 20 th 6 am on the dot
    I did it! Now without the nipple shield 100% of the time Since 2/12

    We are now self-latching! .

    ing about . expecting to start in 2 weeks.

    Blame strange autocorrect if my posts come out weird. More often than not typing one handed on a "smart" object or just ing

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    11

    Default Re: Ready to Give Up, plus a few questions

    Oh my gosh, you ladies are the best! I am feeling a little better. For one thing, Jane did MUCH better today. She nursed like she normally does and wasn't stuck to my boob all day long like yesterday. I'm thinking maybe it was a growth spurt issue.

    I've thought about oversupply issues, but I don't really feel like we have the symptoms of that. No green or frothy poop, etc.

    I was reading on a thread here that eating a bunch of brownies can do strange things to the poop. I made brownies on Monday and we ate them Monday, Tuesday and Wednesda nights... By this afternoon her poop was looking more normal. Oops!

    As for the spitting up/choking. I don't know if it's an oversupply issue or not. She has this happen after she'd been nursing for a while, so maybe she's just full up? I talked to her pediatrician about it today and she said that she's probably just spitting up and that babies have really sensitive gag reflexes, so when that happens she's probalby gagging. The doctor wasn't worried and also told me to feed her with her head elevated...I wasn't really doing that (idiot!). So hopefully we can fix that.

    My husband is constantly telling me not to worry about the house or getting things done. He does cook for us every night (has since we got married and I was in law school), so thankfully I don't have to worry about that. I'm just one of those people who is always on the move and feels like I wasted a day if I don't get anything done (even if it's just a load of laundry or dishes or something). The only thing I NEED to do is wash her diapers every other day. Hubby could do that but it would take so long to explain it to him that it would be faster for me to do it.

    About nursing in public--I'm not to keen on doing that yet, but I'm getting over it. My hubby and parents (the people who I am most often with) really support BF'ing and constantly tell me that if we're out and I need to BF her, that they will find somewhere for me to sit down and do it. I don't know if I'll ever be able to BF in a restaurant though. For some reason that freaks me out. We are going to a wedding on Saturday, so I guess I'll have to get comfortable with BF'ing her in public!

    Regarding the bottle--when we gave it to her last night, I had just nursed her off and on for about 2 hours, so I didn't think I needed to pump. Is that correct? We are also going to a concert in early May and my hubby talked to my parents about watching our daughter. So I am going to pump and leave bottles for them to feed her. I plan on taking my pump with me and maybe pumping in the car before we go in or maybe after depending on the time. That should be interesting.

    I agree with PP, getting out with my baby is definitely better than not getting out at all. I've been trying to go on long walks with her every other day or so (sometimes every day) just to get out. I find it really depressing when it's 8pm and I realize I haven't been outside the house all day.

    Thanks so much for your replies. It's nice just knowing there is someone out there listening. Even better when those listening have gone through what I'm going through and made it out alive :-) I'm not going to stop BF'ing. As I type she is laying here nursing and it's the sweetest thing in the world.

    (It's a whole other story, but since I was a child I had decided never to have kids. DH agreed. Then last year we decided we wanted a munchkin. A couple weeks ago DH said, "We should have done this a long time ago." I can't agree more. I never knew I could love a kid this much!)

    Thanks again!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    1,805

    Default Re: Ready to Give Up, plus a few questions

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*heatherbushead View Post
    My husband is constantly telling me not to worry about the house or getting things done. He does cook for us every night (has since we got married and I was in law school), so thankfully I don't have to worry about that. I'm just one of those people who is always on the move and feels like I wasted a day if I don't get anything done (even if it's just a load of laundry or dishes or something). The only thing I NEED to do is wash her diapers every other day. Hubby could do that but it would take so long to explain it to him that it would be faster for me to do it.



    (It's a whole other story, but since I was a child I had decided never to have kids. DH agreed. Then last year we decided we wanted a munchkin. A couple weeks ago DH said, "We should have done this a long time ago." I can't agree more. I never knew I could love a kid this much!)

    Thanks again!
    i felt the same way as you --- i know lots of mamas say "don't worry about housework, let the dishes go, etc" but I felt so much better if i could just have the kitchen clean, and have clean sheets and have a shower. It just made me feel a little more in control. So whatever it takes for you to feel at ease, that's what you have to do.

    And to the last part --- isn't it just amazing how quickly and how much you can fall in love? DH wasn't sure about little ones either, but now neither of us can imagine our lives without.

    I'm glad you're having a better day today -- there are certainly ups and downs --- but as time goes on there are certainly more ups than downs with nursing, at least in my own experience.
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,465

    Default Re: Ready to Give Up, plus a few questions

    But....feeding the baby DOES COUNT as doing something all day. You aren't wasting the day if you spend it helping your childs developing organs and brain grow! It's the most important job you have. You made all the nourishment your self and now you are making her grow. And the way in which they grow in the first 12 weeks- exponentially, it's so important. As is, the learning and practicing that is happening. They are not born knowing how to do it and neither are we. You need to practice as a dyad and she needs to do the work involved in regulating your supply. And sometimes it IS an all day job. Days spent in PJ's nursing a newborn are days of GREAT accomplishment. MOST of us spent the first 6-12 weeks in our PJ's on the couch. You should plan for that. Expect it. and NOT feel like you are failing if you don't get anything else done. It's such a Short short period in both of your lives. Sit back. Your baby moon is almost over. Enjoy it. Clean on the weekends. Do diaper loads while wearing her. Rest when she sleeps. It will all change some more next week. Every minutes that you are feeding her you are doing the MOST IMPORTANT job of the day. For sure. And if only one job can get done in a day, that the one.

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #15

    Default Re: Ready to Give Up, plus a few questions

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    But....feeding the baby DOES COUNT as doing something all day. You aren't wasting the day if you spend it helping your childs developing organs and brain grow! It's the most important job you have. You made all the nourishment your self and now you are making her grow. And the way in which they grow in the first 12 weeks- exponentially, it's so important. As is, the learning and practicing that is happening. They are not born knowing how to do it and neither are we. You need to practice as a dyad and she needs to do the work involved in regulating your supply. And sometimes it IS an all day job. Days spent in PJ's nursing a newborn are days of GREAT accomplishment. MOST of us spent the first 6-12 weeks in our PJ's on the couch. You should plan for that. Expect it. and NOT feel like you are failing if you don't get anything else done. It's such a Short short period in both of your lives. Sit back. Your baby moon is almost over. Enjoy it. Clean on the weekends. Do diaper loads while wearing her. Rest when she sleeps. It will all change some more next week. Every minutes that you are feeding her you are doing the MOST IMPORTANT job of the day. For sure. And if only one job can get done in a day, that the one.
    So true. Newborns not only need to nurse, well, not quite constantly, but sometimes it's pretty close, they also really need that closeness and contact with their mothers. LLL's philosophy is that "the baby has an intense need to be with his mother which is as basic as his need for food." While to you it feels like you're doing nothing, to Jane it's everything that she needs.

    Do you have an LLL Group near you? LLL meetings are a great a way to get out of the house and talk to other adults without having to worry about being uncomfortable nursing in public.
    Karen
    Forums Admin

    Find an LLL Leader or Meeting | Get one-on-one help from a Leader online | Become a Member of LLLI

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  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: Ready to Give Up, plus a few questions

    It sounds like you're feeling a lot better. djs.mom is spot on. And you won't look back on this time and regret it. You might regret it if you didn't spend every second you could holding your baby now. In two years, that will go by in a blink of an eye, she might not sit still long enough for you to hold her.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Ready to Give Up, plus a few questions

    I definitely got a little stir-crazy in the early weeks, too. Getting out of the house is key! Would you feel more comfy nursing at a restaurant if you had a cover? Eventually Joe refused to use a cover, but it worked in the newborn days, during those latching on and off times, when my nipple would otherwise be in full view. It helped me GET comfortable with nursing in public. (Kind of like NIP training wheels? ) When I did it at a restaurant, I don't think most folks had any idea what I was even doing.

    LLL meetings and other mom get-togethers are great too. Reach out and find a social network of moms early on - you will NEVER REGRET that!


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    51

    Default Re: Ready to Give Up, plus a few questions

    Hello,

    So glad to read that you are feeling better and I want to congratulate you for being so candid and frank. As mentioned before, you should try to nurse with a cover on so that you feel comfortable nursing in public. It was weird for me at first but it get easy and as long as you don't make a big deal out of it no one will notice (even in a restaurant). Try to sit strategically so that your back is to the public if you don't feel comfy with it yet. My baby is 6 weeks old and what I do in order to get things done is put her on a sling around my neck. She loves being able to see what I am doing and always ends up falling asleep. Then I put her down and finish what I need to do. Don't put too much pressure on getting too much done though. She will never be this age again. NEVER.
    Your nipples should not be hurting, make sure that you have a good latch. My nipples were sore at the beginning and it was HELL, that is why it is so important to get it right. Even if you have to unlatch and re-latch her a couple of times. Do it and both of you will learn. Something that also helped me was letting my nipples air dry and using lanolin.
    Hang in there and use this forum whenever you have a question or simply need to vent. These ladies here are amazing and it has really helped me, I know that it can help you.

    L
    First time mom to Little Luisa.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    1,805

    Default Re: Ready to Give Up, plus a few questions

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    And you won't look back on this time and regret it. You might regret it if you didn't spend every second you could holding your baby now. In two years, that will go by in a blink of an eye, she might not sit still long enough for you to hold her.
    or even one year! And I agree with this -- as a full time work out of the house mom, I so wish i could steal back those days of utter exhaustion and sleeplessness to snuggle my little newborn those times are precious.
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    15

    Default Re: Ready to Give Up, plus a few questions

    I'm feeling the exact same way. My son is 4 weeks now. During the day we seem ok. but at night he nurses, falls asleep, wakes in 15 min, wants to nurse more, sleeps 15 min. Wakes with a dirty diaper. And it goes on and on until 10pm or so. Then he finally sleeps if I'm lucky.
    So I don't know if it's a growth spirt, cluster feeding issues, pm crankiness or what...or if I'm doing things right.
    I am getting anxious because I have to go back to work in May...how am I going to do that? I've started pumping, but I don't get all that much...maybe 1 1/2 oz total after each nursing session. My husband gives him a bottle of 3oz at night to get him use to a bottle but that doesn't help me stockpile my milk for when I have to go back since I am using it each day.

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