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Thread: Twin Moms! Help! I have HAD IT!

  1. #1

    Default Twin Moms! Help! I have HAD IT!

    I am the mother of 3, a five year old and 10 month old twins and I have had it.

    I am exhausted. Each twin wakes 3-5 times a night (6-10 times getting out of bed). I am freaking tired.

    They both bite. Nuff sed.

    I can go nowhere because nursing twins is not as simple as nursing a singleton. With two, at 10 months, you pretty much are forced to nurse them together, or the non-nursing twin will freak out, causing a lovely scene if you are in public. Because its pretty much impossible to be discreet when you nurse two babies at once, my outings are limited to less than an hour no further than a mile or two from the house.

    They are getting bigger and nursing more and more often, which is completely totally unfair to my big guy, because I am limited in how much attention I can pay to him when I am bound to the floor or couch by the twins.

    They shriek whenever I am in earshot and NOT nursing them. My husband usually gets up before me in an effort to let me get an hour or so of uninterrupted rest in the morning. Often the house is very quiet when I come down the stairs, but the very second I round the corner into the kitchen, all hell breaks loose and I am greeted with a chorus of crying infants and a wound up five year old who adds to the din with siren noises to relieve the stress of it all. Good times.

    The whole situation makes me resentful and angry...which is not cool.

    My intention is to go to a year, but after that, I want to stop - I have had it.

    Twin moms, please weigh in!

    What were your experiences? How long did you go? Did your kids sleep? How did you manage your other kids?

    Thanks ya'll!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    175

    Default Re: Twin Moms! Help! I have HAD IT!

    I can't offer advice from beyond seven months as that is how old my twins are right now, but I will say that I feel for you. We do not have any older children, just the twins. I don't get out much either and it's quick trips like you described. What DOES help me though is going for outings to places, such as a LLL meeting, where there is always someone available and eager to hold an extra baby! Those are some of my favorite times because I can feed one twin and the other can be meeting and greeting others who love kids. Then I swap. But other outings? I plan around feeds and if it looks like we're getting to the hungry phase, I try to make the remainder of the trip QUICK and as interesting as possible to keep the twins thinking on other things than chow.

    Are you able to find help for a few hours during the week? A life saver for me is having a family friend come over a couple of times a week for a few hours. She watches the twins and I am able to have some "me" time. Whether it's going to buy groceries, taking a shower or a nap, or spending time with my friend AND the babies I treasure that time. It's a little break from the very concentrated Mom+Kids time. I used to be a corporate workaholic and now am a SAHM since the twins were born, so I'm definitely still having some adjustment issues there as well.

    Regarding the biting, how long has that been going on? How many teeth are you dealing with right now? As soon as my son's teeth started coming in and he began nipping (unintentionally) I began having to teach him to be gentle. It took some tears from both of us, but he's being quite good overall. I know that you and your twins can get past this!

    As for sleeping... Ugh! At about four months, we were getting quite a bit of sleep at night. Maybe one wakeup. Now? As an example, last night they both went to bed at 7:30ish and woke to eat at 10:30pm. Then my little guy woke and wanted to play at 1am. (Thankfully his musical toy encouraged him back to sleep.) Then at 2:30am he woke wanting to eat and I gave in. He ate and I dozed in bed and we snuggled for 50 minutes. Then I fed my daughter... And she ate and I dozed for an hour. All the while my poor husband was camped on the floor because our bed isn't big enough for all of us. So we get back to sleep around 4:15am... And then it's wakeup time at 5:30am. Whereas they had been sleeping through the night for awhile, that is a thing of the past! One or two wakeups I can handle. But several feeds and "I want to play!" and teething (little guy has two teeth now and he's learning to be careful) and, and, and... DH and I are so tired.

    I will say that I plan on nursing for as long as we can, at least 12 months. My goal is to wean when the twins are individually ready for it. We shall see how it goes, but I'm pretty pleased with how it's working out thus far. Yeah, I'm stuck to the floor, chair, bed, whatever for nursing these little ones. I honestly don't know how I would handle having an older child at home right now, too!

    Sorry, not much advice to offer but know that you're not entirely alone.
    Mom to amazing twins!
    DD nursed for 3y5m, DS still occasionally stops by for a snack

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,404

    Default Re: Twin Moms! Help! I have HAD IT!

    I called my cousin last night. I wanted her to weigh in on this thread because she nursed her kids until they were 3.5 years old. Exclusively before they introduced solids. And she said to say you are doing great! But she also said that the reason she was able to to it as long as she did was because of the support of her DH. She really rarely left the house without him. So...She wasn't really trying to go anywhere during the week when they were babies. She says if that is really important to you perhaps your hire a Mother's Helper for a few hours a week (Teenage girl) and specifically have her come with you on your weekly outings. A trip to the park for your older child, the grocery store ect. I'll tell you....they are 4.5 and I STILL don't think she likes to go out with them alone. But she said to tell you that ANYTIME you are feeling overwhelmed you should re-work things with you DH. Because maybe there is a way that you can get more than an extra hour of sleep during the day. Maybe you can get some time with your older child alone to reconnect. She said the dynamic of you with the children will likely not change. They will always be vying for your attention and to be with you. But that giving yourself MORE breaks as you needs them will help you cope with the feelings of resentment and being trapped and overwhelmed.

    Way too lazy for formula

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