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Thread: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20,626

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Welcome, Mama! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I'm with the PPs that an evaluation for postpartum depression seems warranted, based on what you've written. It's normal for a new mama to be exhausted, frustrated, even short-tempered. But if you've crossed over into feeling angry at your partner and child, and your support system perceives that there's a problem, that's a serious thing that should be taken seriously.

    Everything you describe about your baby sounds very normal. Waking every 3 hours? Normal. A lot of babies are still waking every 1.5 hours at 3 months old (both my girls were). Distractable? Normal at 3 months, now that baby is perceiving more of what's going on around him. Fussy and gassy? Common in young babies, and not necessarily a sign of something being wrong, or of the baby having a dairy intolerance. Poops and pees sound normal. Eating to contentment and then stopping is normal. (Consider the alternative: the baby eating until he's overfull and uncomfortable.)

    I'd encourage you to see a therapist, and I'd also consider doing some bottles at night. They can be filled with breastmilk that you express during the day, so that you don't need to get up and pump at night. Or if that won't work, just use formula at night. It doesn't have to be forever- just until you feel more together.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Rural Kansas
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    42

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*xxindependentxx View Post
    He has had a formula a total of 3 times, the past 2 times was the last feeding of the night the past two nights. I have not slept more than 3 hours since he was born. I am EXHAUSTED, my body feels like jello and I am angry all of the time and get frustrated with him. With the formula he slept 11pm- 5am. I was very against it but so desperate. I had a stash stored up so my Stepmom kept him the past two nights so I could sleep (pumped the whole time while gone). I am still exhausted.
    If he sleeps longer, then give him the formula. Breastfeeding is NOT an all or nothing situation, one bottle of formula a day will not hurt. Even if you only do it temporarily to catch up on some very much needed rest. My LO gets formula at his bedtime feeding (has since he was 6 weeks old), I had trouble with it at first, but then realized that my health was just as important as his. I figured that if that one bottle of formula at night gave me enough of a break where I could get some ME TIME and a few extra hours of sleep at night (he sleeps from about 8:30p to 5:30a), it was more than worth it. My husband feeds him the formula and I pump while they eat - supply is fine and I do not get up to pump at night.



    Hope this helps Momma! I also agree with the PP, try and find a mental health professional to help you with this difficult time, or at least a person who will listen to your issues and steer you in the right direction. Relax Momma, you are doing great!!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Why not give him the pumped milk in the bottle instead of formula? That's what I'm not understanding...
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  4. #14
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    Why not give him the pumped milk in the bottle instead of formula? That's what I'm not understanding...
    I think the PPs who have suggested using formula are making that suggestion only if this mama can't manage to express, either because she's too worn out or because she's not pumping enough to make it happen. Obviously, filling the bottles with breastmilk is preferable!

    (Correct me if I've misstated anyone's position! )
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    6,564

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    I think the PPs who have suggested using formula are making that suggestion only if this mama can't manage to express, either because she's too worn out or because she's not pumping enough to make it happen. Obviously, filling the bottles with breastmilk is preferable!

    (Correct me if I've misstated anyone's position! )
    Sorry, I guess I misunderstood it too then. I was confused about giving formula and pumping at the same time.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Rural Kansas
    Posts
    42

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    I think the PPs who have suggested using formula are making that suggestion only if this mama can't manage to express, either because she's too worn out or because she's not pumping enough to make it happen. Obviously, filling the bottles with breastmilk is preferable!

    (Correct me if I've misstated anyone's position! )
    That is exactly why I encouraged it.....it seems to me that she is pretty worn out and I was simply trying to help her get a break if she can. I also wanted her to know that she wouldn't be the only one who gives their child occasional formula to make their own life a little easier - especially in the early months.
    Last edited by @llli*lb; April 6th, 2011 at 02:54 PM.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    12

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    I am going to get some help. I'm going to get evaluated and have to get on meds, I'm sure, my anger and feelings are not normal. I realized today after feeling like I hated my son. I'm praying I don't have to quit nursing, but if I do for the safety of myself and the well being of my son, I will have to. that makes me feel like the biggest failure and so upset.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    I hope you can get some help soon. I would think that they would not advocate you to quit nursing because the hormones released during nursing are very helpful and actually protect somewhat against ppd.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    I would prefer they give me something that I can continue to nurse with. My Stepmom found thiis place that will evaluate me. If they feel like I'm crazy (lol) they will take me to their facility for 3 days or so for evaluation.

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