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Thread: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    Default SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    This is a little bit long, but I am at the end of my rope.

    Details:

    Levi, born 1/6/11, 8lbs, 2oz.

    He currently weighs about 13 1/2 lbs at last weigh...

    He has plenty of wet diapers and poops (explosively) every 2-3 days.

    He has had a formula a total of 3 times, the past 2 times was the last feeding of the night the past two nights. I have not slept more than 3 hours since he was born. I am EXHAUSTED, my body feels like jello and I am angry all of the time and get frustrated with him. With the formula he slept 11pm- 5am. I was very against it but so desperate. I had a stash stored up so my Stepmom kept him the past two nights so I could sleep (pumped the whole time while gone). I am still exhausted.

    He has always been the type that will eat enough to be content, then he is ready to stop, lazy guy.

    He is also very distractable (have been going in dark room to fix problem). My number one support system at this time is even saying everyone is worried, as am I. /i find myself angry at my Son! I have always been prone to depression, but i don't know if this is sleep deprivation (i know it is) or depression on top. He is extremely active already. He is fussy and gassy on top of everything else. I find it nearly impossible to give up dairy. I am just so angry and tired. I have been told to do formula at the night feeding and just pump when he gets the formula, since my body should already be adjusted to at least sleeping more than 3 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    12

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    I have almost quit before, but stuck to it. I am just so exhausted that I feel like I hate everyone around me!!!! It is even affecting my relationship with my partner because I'm so cranky 24/7.

    He takes a pacifier, I don't care if it is bad, it has saved my sanity many times. Has helped a lot. These problems started before the paci was introduced. I am at my wits end.

    I also have to juggle the housework and do 99% of everything for the baby!!!! He has two other kids that are only there on weekends, but they get on my nerves sooooooooooooooo incredibly bad right now I want to just leave him because of them!!!!!! I am seriously at the end of my rope.
    Last edited by @llli*xxindependentxx; April 6th, 2011 at 09:20 AM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    652

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Have you seen someone for the possibility of ppd? If you are already prone to depression your likelyhood of ppd is increased. There is medication you can take safely while bfing. A few things in your post sound like red flags for ppd. For you and your son get some help.

    As far as your son only sleeping 3 hours, that sounds really normal for a 3 month old. It is really difficult to get through.

    If you think he has issues with milk have you taken him to an allergist? And if he does have problems with milk be careful giving him formula.

    It does get better and is so worth it.
    Ds 9/09 nursed for 20 months

    Dd 12/11 nursing a toddler again

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    783

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Have you been able to sleep with your LO and try to nurse in the side lying position? This might help you to get some sleep. Is your partner able to help some? Getting to a LLL meeting sounds like a great idea! Are there any groups near you?

    I hope you start to get some rest and feel better. LOs can be stressful at times. Try to let others help as much as possible and nurse frequently.
    SAHM to all my boys

    Wyatt 2/23/99
    Isaiah 7/11/00
    Hunter 2/9/10- made it through our dairy allergy!
    and loving from afar, my DSS Kaleb 3/30/97

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    12

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    It says my message is too short and to reduce it to one character, wtf???

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*nsm View Post
    Have you seen someone for the possibility of ppd? If you are already prone to depression your likelyhood of ppd is increased. There is medication you can take safely while bfing. A few things in your post sound like red flags for ppd. For you and your son get some help.

    As far as your son only sleeping 3 hours, that sounds really normal for a 3 month old. It is really difficult to get through.

    If you think he has issues with milk have you taken him to an allergist? And if he does have problems with milk be careful giving him formula.

    It does get better and is so worth it.
    I don't have any dang insurance.

  7. #7
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    Apr 2011
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    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*expat-mum View Post
    Aww, I have a Levi, too. I'm sorry things have been so difficult. With that little amount of sleep, I think anyone would start to feel pretty psycho.

    I really hesitate to ask a bunch of annoying questions, but I'm just wondering a few things that might give us a better picture of your situation:

    - Why do you think you haven't been able to sleep? Is it all from the baby's frequent night wakings, or do you think there is an emotional component keeping you awake?

    - When your support system says they're worried and when you talk about problems that started before introducing a paci, what are the main breastfeeding concerns you and others have (besides your exhaustion)?

    - Are you able to get out with the baby at all--to a LLL meeting or somewhere with friends where you'd feel comfortable nursing, doing diaper changes, etc.?

    And, happy three-month birthday to little Levi!
    - Why do you think you haven't been able to sleep? Is it all from the baby's frequent night wakings, or do you think there is an emotional component keeping you awake?

    He wakes up constantly it seems like, he cosleeps, so any stir wakes me up, he has never slept longer than 3 hours, even when not cosleeping.

    - When your support system says they're worried and when you talk about problems that started before introducing a paci, what are the main breastfeeding concerns you and others have (besides your exhaustion)?

    They are concerned about my attitude and my inability to function. I called her two days sobbing out of exhaustion, I was actually ANGRY at my son.

    - Are you able to get out with the baby at all--to a LLL meeting or somewhere with friends where you'd feel comfortable nursing, doing diaper changes, etc.?

    [B]I do not mind public nursing at all./ I have been to a LLL meeting.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*christinao View Post
    Have you been able to sleep with your LO and try to nurse in the side lying position? This might help you to get some sleep. Is your partner able to help some? Getting to a LLL meeting sounds like a great idea! Are there any groups near you?

    I hope you start to get some rest and feel better. LOs can be stressful at times. Try to let others help as much as possible and nurse frequently.
    I sleep with him but we both fall asleep when he is nursing, so we are back up very soon following because he doesn't get enough!!!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,562

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    I'm sorry that you are so frustrated. I do think that you may be having some post partum depression going on as well. My baby is 10 days younger than yours and she basically does the same thing - she wakes up every 2 to 3 hours all night long. My first daughter did as well. I'm pretty tired, but I'm not feeling angry about it. With my first daughter I did have some periods of time where I was fairly angry with my husband, but what you're going through seems extreme. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Since you don't have insurance, can you contact your local mental health department and see if they can get you in to see a doctor on a reduced fee pay scale?

    Maybe I missed it, but I don't understand why you think you need to cut out dairy? And why do you think that pumping every three hours at night is going to get you more sleep than nursing every three hours?
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,562

    Default Re: SO DESPERATE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

    Also, is your husband helping you out with the cleaning? And when the other kids are there on the weekends and you are feeling strung out, can you shut yourself in your bedroom with your baby and just take a break from it?

    I don't think giving up breastfeeding is going to fix any of the problems you are talking about.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

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