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Thread: Expecting twins :) Weaning my 12 month old :(

  1. #1

    Default Expecting twins :) Weaning my 12 month old :(

    The short story is I'm expecting identical twins, one is smaller than the other and may not be thriving and may not survive. I've read Adventures in Tandem Nursing. The recommendation from there is to wean because there's not enough research for a multiple pregnancy. I also read about a study that said nipple stimulation decreased oxygen to the placenta.

    Seeing as how my LO is 12 months old and healthy, and one of my twins may not be getting what it needs to grow and develop, I have to wean. If it means I'm depriving a tiny baby from oxygen, nutrients or blood, and if it means it could save the smaller one, I have to do it.

    The long story is: My heart is broken. My boobs are hurting. And I KNOW I'm trying to do this too fast. Today is Monday. She hasn't nursed since Saturday. And I don't plan on offering. DH is putting her to bed and getting up with her thru the night.

    I have increased solids and even, much to my sadness, pushed cow's milk on her.

    These are all things I NEVER wanted to do.

    I am wondering how long it takes for a 12 month old to forget they nursed. And how long until my milk goes away. They're rock hard right now. I have packed away my pump because we're moving in a week. I just don't want to have a letdown. I'm scared it will decrease the twins' oxygen. They share a placenta as it is!!

    I just need encouragement and help and advice and reassurance and for my heart to not be broken. When I read that even a 12 month old's immunity may be compromised because of lack of breastmilk, I just cry!!

    I keep trying to remember that she may have weaned anyway by the time the new babies are here, and that I would've been crazy to think I could've nursed a toddler and two newborns. So really it's just sooner than what it may have been naturally.

    When I nursed her on Friday, I was just crying worrying about the twins.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Northern BC, Canada

    Default Re: Expecting twins :) Weaning my 12 month old :(

    You are doing the best thing mama! It must be so hard for you.

    I have heard that standing in the shower kinda bent over so your boobs are hanging with the warm/hot water on your back will help with the milk draining.

    My friend weaned her 12m baby girl and the LO is happily drinking her cowsmilk like nothing happened now (3m later). I think she was better way earlier but I didn't personally see her.
    July 30, 2010-6lbs 2oz- 41w 4d (emergency c-section.) Known dairy, eggs, dogs and cats allergies, eczema, and asthma
    Bonus June 22, 2006 (is 50/50 Custody ) (born 32w) Sensitive to changing temps.
    We BF, BW, Co-sleep and use cloth diapers/pull-ups!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    miles from nowhere

    Default Re: Expecting twins :) Weaning my 12 month old :(

    I'm so sorry mama. My heart breaks for you. But you also need to relieve that engorgement or you could end up with mastitis and that wouldn't be good either. It might be a good idea to just pump or hand express a small amount, just enough to relieve the discomfort when you get engorged.

    I weaned quickly as well and it was very very hard both physically and mentally. There are a ton of hormones involved in it and if you add in your pregnancy hormones...just give yourself permission to be a mess for a little while.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Re: Expecting twins :) Weaning my 12 month old :(

    I agree weaning should be slow you don't want a plugged duct or worse.
    IF you get a fever give your doctor a call..

  5. #5

    Default Re: Expecting twins :) Weaning my 12 month old :(

    My heart breaks for you, too. I don't really have any suggestions, as I am also in the process of weaning my son (nearly 3), but I would like to offer some humble support. The strength you possess to face this with love an urgency is very admirable. I hope you do not allow that sadness to turn to guilt. You posted this over a week ago, so I hope the pain has eased and things are adjusting.

    An aside; my sister's daughters are about 2 yrs apart and my sister nursed the first until the second was born. My sister, for whatever reason, chose to not nurse both simultaneously and sort of cut off the toddler. This created a lot of resentment in the toddler, which unfortunately seems to persist. While this may not always be the case, it is probably best that you wean her now if it was a plan to be done anyway in the future. That way she will have plenty of time to acclimate and be fine with passing on what was once hers.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2009

    Default Re: Expecting twins :) Weaning my 12 month old :(

    My kids are 17 mos apart, so my milk was pretty much gone by the time my son was 10 mos old, and a month after that he wouldn't nurse anymore. He was cranky in the afternoons for a while - I was pretty sure he would have settled if he would have nursed - but that only lasted a couple of weeks.

    He was fine with being weaned, but that almost made it worse, you know? I kind of wanted him to be upset about it, you know?

    I had a lot of crazy feelings of guilt about cutting him off early as well as almost resentment towards what was then to me only a fetus. Now it's my chubby cheeked little princess, but at the time I was MAD, you know? We hadn't planned on getting pregnant again so soon. Well, as not planned as you can be having unprotected sex

    Anyway, just wanted to I agree w/ PPs about taking it slowly so you don't get mastitis, but your hormones will dry up your supply soon anyway. How far along are you?
    Little SW, Aug '09
    Miss MW, Jan '11
    Sir RW, Oct '12
    3 kids in 38 mos

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009

    Default Re: Expecting twins :) Weaning my 12 month old :(

    Just wondering why nursing would reduce the oxygen supply to your smaller baby. Good luck and I hppe the weaning is gentle for you both.
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK

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