The short story is I'm expecting identical twins, one is smaller than the other and may not be thriving and may not survive. I've read Adventures in Tandem Nursing. The recommendation from there is to wean because there's not enough research for a multiple pregnancy. I also read about a study that said nipple stimulation decreased oxygen to the placenta.
Seeing as how my LO is 12 months old and healthy, and one of my twins may not be getting what it needs to grow and develop, I have to wean. If it means I'm depriving a tiny baby from oxygen, nutrients or blood, and if it means it could save the smaller one, I have to do it.
The long story is: My heart is broken. My boobs are hurting. And I KNOW I'm trying to do this too fast. Today is Monday. She hasn't nursed since Saturday. And I don't plan on offering. DH is putting her to bed and getting up with her thru the night.
I have increased solids and even, much to my sadness, pushed cow's milk on her.
These are all things I NEVER wanted to do.
I am wondering how long it takes for a 12 month old to forget they nursed. And how long until my milk goes away. They're rock hard right now. I have packed away my pump because we're moving in a week. I just don't want to have a letdown. I'm scared it will decrease the twins' oxygen. They share a placenta as it is!!
I just need encouragement and help and advice and reassurance and for my heart to not be broken. When I read that even a 12 month old's immunity may be compromised because of lack of breastmilk, I just cry!!
I keep trying to remember that she may have weaned anyway by the time the new babies are here, and that I would've been crazy to think I could've nursed a toddler and two newborns. So really it's just sooner than what it may have been naturally.
When I nursed her on Friday, I was just crying worrying about the twins.