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Thread: Wanting to BF 2nd child, failed with 1st

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2010

    Default Wanting to BF 2nd child, failed with 1st

    Hi I'm new here, and am currently expecting my second child Sept 22. I am currently scheduled to have my baby via c-section on Sept 16th. Sadly I don't get much choice in this as my hospital has banned VBAC's.

    Anyway I really want to Breastfeed this child, but am concerned about the problems I had last time. I wanted to Breastfeed, but everything seemed to go wrong for me. I ended up being allowed to go 2 full weeks past my due date before they induced. That failed so i had to have a c-section. My spinal failed to work so i was given a general. My DD was born at just before 10 pm. I finally started to really wake up about 6am. During the time I was out my DD was hungry and was given bottles of formula on at least 2 different occasions. And she drank a fair amount for a newborn. They told my DH that since she was overdue she had the hunger of a 2 week old, not a newborn. Once I was awake I tried to breastfeed when she was hungry. I'm a large chested woman so it was challenging. I had several nurses over advice and help. I did get her latched on, but would always have a shooting pain from the nipple up into the breast. When i asked about the pain, they said it was normal. My Doula also helped me during my first few days at home trying to get a latch and making things work out. I also found my DD wanted to suck for 3-4 hours straight every evening. My doula suggested that my DD just wanted to suck, not nurse and that a pacifier might help. Due to the continual pain in nursing I switched to pumping and bottle feeding breast milk and formula. This quickly ended in switching to formula as my milk supply decreased.

    So this time I'm having another c-section, but with a Spinal. I'm not sure how soon I can try nursing after the c-section, but I really want to be successful this time. I'm also told that the shooting pain I had is not normal and my DD was not latched on properly. How do I tell a proper latch? I've looked up my local LLL meetings and plan to go when I'm closer to my due date, but any advice is appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Springfield, Oregon

    Default Re: Wanting to BF 2nd child, failed with 1st

    Hiya. If you do have to go out you might put in writing that you want your baby to be given donor milk using the finger feeding method. That would mean your LO would not be given formula and would avoid early use of the bottle. At my hospital both of these options were available (after I made it clear I didn't want use of formula). I'm not extremely knowledgeable but question the "need" for that much formula so soon. The baby's stomach immediately after birth is tiny.

    I would also find a Lactation Consultant that you like before giving birth. Perhaps one that could come to your room and help you. I found the ones that are at the hospital and rotate are not too helpful (for me anyhow) especially b/c there are so many people you can get conflicting advice or perhaps you just get one who isn't as knowledgeable as she should be etc... Those first few BF attempts are so important and the wrong person can just ruin it. It is great you will be going to your local LLL Meetings, they can probably direct you to a good LC.

    For pumping you should make sure you have a double electric pump and the right size flange. If you have bigger breasts you might need to upgrade your flange size.

    In terms of pain, from what I heard some minor pain is normal at first just b/c your breasts aren't used to nursing. But anything painful painful is probably due to a "bad latch" and can be corrected by doing things properly.

    The book "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" has good latch pictures. But so does this website. I'm not sure I agree with everything written on the website but the pics, videos, and steps helped me.
    Videos: http://www.drjacknewman.com/video-clips.asp
    Step-by-step: http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...tion&Itemid=17

    for considering BF again after it was so hard last time. I am a new mom and am LOVING BF. We had a lot of issues at first but now that we are getting them sorted out it is so enjoyable.
    Baby Girl "Piper" born Feb 12th, 2010. She is a true blessing!

    And a baby who is now an Angel in Heaven Feb 7th, 2008.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006

    Default Re: Wanting to BF 2nd child, failed with 1st

    The best advice I can give, outside of what the PP said, is to be super stubborn. Do not allow yourself to think that you have formula to fall back on. Breastfeeding is more than a choice, it is a state of mind, a way of life. Those of us who have succeeded on this website, did so because we never considered another option. Even when faced with truly difficult issues. You are starting off fabulously by doing your research now. Stick around. Read all the threads. And most importantly, come back immediately after the baby is born and post every question you have. No matter how small it might seem.

    I am due at the same time you are and will also probably be having a c-section. We can do it together
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Landof2toddlers, Oregon

    Default Re: Wanting to BF 2nd child, failed with 1st

    Make signs that say no artificial nipples and no formula and plaster them everywhere. Make sure your support people know that the baby is NOT TO BE FED ANYTHING. Check your hospital/OB policy of c-sections and babies. There are a lot of hospitals that are starting to let the baby be held on the mother's chest for the rest of the surgery. If you cannot hold your baby as soon as it is born then your husband should. Skin to skin asap. If at all possible the baby shouldn't be out of your sight. If it is Dad should go with. INSIST!! If anyone says your baby needs formula ask why? Say you need to see a pediatrician before that is allowed. (There will be one on call if yours isn't available).

    You can breast feed with proper support. Try and find a mom in your area who has breast fed successfully to be your mentor. even better would be one that had issues but made it anyway. I never managed to exclusively breastfeed DS (though he was still nursing until I was about 4 months pregnant with DD) but feeding DD has been so easy and so liberating and empowering.

    The best advice I can give is keep your baby with you and at your breast all.the.time!!
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.

    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2010

    Default Re: Wanting to BF 2nd child, failed with 1st

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*kst.7399 View Post
    be super stubborn. Do not allow yourself to think that you have formula to fall back on. Breastfeeding is more than a choice, it is a state of mind, a way of life. Those of us who have succeeded on this website, did so because we never considered another option. Even when faced with truly difficult issues.

    This post is soooo true. I wish that I had done my research like you are doing now before my DS was born. The first 8 weeks were a shocker! Nursing round the clock and every problem under the sun. Despite all this, for me, quitting was not an option and now I BF.

    I read another post the other day. Sorry I can't remember who posted it but I am giving them credit. They said that the first 12 weeks of BF is like the 4th trimester, only the baby is attached to you by your boob rather than umbilical chord.

    The other thing I would say is don't panic about the instant feed after birth. Skin to skin is more impotant. My DS was so full of mucus after his birth that he didn't feed or 12 hours, despite me offering him the breast regularly. Once he got going blimey did he get going!!!

    One last point before I stop prattling on. TRUST YOUR BABY. My DS has always always known what to do. A lot of my problems were caused by me getting in my own way and thinking that I knew best. Why would I know more than my baby, I have never breastfed before!!

    Good luck with the c-section xx xx
    Amy, very proud Mum to beautiful Gabriel, born 11/12/2009. We are looking forward to baby number 2 arriving in January

    We loved , but stopped after 9 months because I went back to work. We think that cloth nappies rock

    Could not have breastfed without the fab support of husband Chris and of course the LLL!!!!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Wild Wonderful West Virginia

    Default Re: Wanting to BF 2nd child, failed with 1st

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*kst.7399 View Post
    Breastfeeding is more than a choice, it is a state of mind, a way of life. Those of us who have succeeded on this website, did so because we never considered another option. )

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2007

    Default Re: Wanting to BF 2nd child, failed with 1st

    with PP


    Mommy to Gabriel born 12/25/06 Breastfed 12/25/06 - 12/09 and possibly here and there still
    Madelyn born 9/24/09 delivered at home and caught by my husband

    "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    New York

    Default Re: Wanting to BF 2nd child, failed with 1st

    I haven't read all of the replies you've gotten, so some of what I may write may be repeated.

    I had a c-section with the help of an epidural. My son was born at 3:42 am... by the time they stitched me up and moved me to recovery, it was about 6 am-ish. I told my SO to make sure they make it clear to the nurses no formula!! They write it in his chart. I was able to BF around 7 am when they brought him to me in the recovery room. It was challenging to get to see him because of the change of shift at 7 am.

    Make sure you let the nurses and doctor know that you want to BF imediately, as soon as you are able to! For the first 24 hours, the baby doesn't actually need to eat. Skin to skin contact is also sufficient. Ask for as much help as you can from the nurses when learning how to BF!!

    Bfing is not painful. If the latch is good, you will just know. The first week when I was BF, when it was a good latch, I would feel my uterus contacting (felt like cramps). I did feel pain with nursing, but that was because my LO wouldn't take a deep enough latch at first. So teaching us how to nurse caused a lot of pain. But when you do it right, it's not painful. You can look up websites that show you how latch properly, and what it should look like.

    First baby Thanos Liam born on 12/20/2009... we are and since birth and still going strong!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2009

    Default Re: Wanting to BF 2nd child, failed with 1st

    Oh, Mama you can do this! With my DS we had a difficult birth experience and flat nipples meant latching was a HUGE challenge. He didn't regain his birthweight back until he was 4 weeks old. He was on supplemental formula through an SNS and I fought HARD to increase to a full supply. My in-laws were VERY difficult about BF during that time and thought that my decision to BF was selfish since DS was struggling with BF so much. Anyway, all that rambling to say it was SO SO SO HARD, but SO SO SO WORTH IT!!!!! I was able to wean him off the formula and he had BM until he was almost 14 mo. Biggest and proudest accomplishment of my life. I was determined to make it work and like a PP said, formula was not going to be an option for us.

    With DD it was SO much easier. Also, I wanted to point out that it is very normal for newborns to feed all.the.time!!!! My DD was nurse continuosly from about 7:00-11:00 PM every night for about the first 3-6 weeks of life. It's how they increase your supply. Whenever that baby needs to suck, put them to the breast even if it seems like your baby is attached to the boob 24/7.

    Also, pain might have been bad latch, but I'm also wondering if you experienced thrush. Shooting pain is often characteristic of thrush and considering you had a c-section, you probably had antibiotics. I would definitely get to know an IBCLC ahead of time and hire her to help you after the baby is born. I, too, didn't have much luck from the hospital LCs.


  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2009

    Default Re: Wanting to BF 2nd child, failed with 1st

    Hey Mama! The PPs have given you lots of great advice. The only thing I didn't see addressed was the nursing 3-4 hours at night thing.

    That's actually common - it's known as cluster feeding. It's not necessarily just for sucking, so don't give in to the pacifier thing. A lot of Mamas have a bit of a lower milk supply when it gets into the evening hours so baby will stay on you for quite a while getting nourishment from your milk and simultaneously building your milk supply for you. During this time even though there's little milk, it's more fatty and has more "oomph" to it. So my advice is find a comfy place on the couch, set up a nursing station with water, snacks, diapers, and your baby nearby - and camp out and nurse those hours every night. I promise after a few weeks your little one gets out of this stage and you get your life back.
    Wife to DH February 17, 2004.
    First time mom to my precious baby girl, welcomed to this world August 3, 2009!
    Birth: 6 lbs. 6 oz. and 18.5"
    6 months: 14 lbs. 14.5 oz. and 26"
    1 year: 20 lbs. and 30"

    Woohoo! We made it one year!

    Learn more about us at my blog.

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