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Thread: Kind of a big one mamas, but super desperate cry for help/support...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Thumbs down Kind of a big one mamas, but super desperate cry for help/support...

    Whew, where to start? I'll try to make this brief as I can.. Currently nursing Bryn on hard cold floor cuz didn't want to wake bella up in bed there

    I know this is partially the right category for these questions... But a few things: my husband was fired from his job in January, starts new job tomorrow! so excited mainly because... Him and I aren't getting along so well these days for reasons, alot of our bickering or fights come from my feelings that he lacks huge as a loving father (that he once was over a year ago...) towards our babies. Moms intuition: dad us a problem in several aspects of their lives right now. It was gradual, but I noticed Bella changing... She was very (still is) clingy to daddy, almost like trying to earn his love (like she should NEED TO ) she is super huge super super loving and polite!! She's always "I love you daddy, I love you" and sometimes the #%## doesn't say a response, so from the other room I'll be like " daddy loves you too baby!" and then grumble how he's been a distant ass and is seriously messing with her psychosis in my opinion, which believe me I'm not going to sit by and watch idly... Sorry try to keep to the main points here, using my phone since our Internet was shut off, miss keyboard! Well, her eating habits have changed drastically... She's 2 and 1/2 so I know pickiness is "normal", but on the few days he hadn't been here and I held myself together well ( as this moms taking a severe mental beating..) she ate just great with her mama! Every day he's been home it's been ridiculous, like he fights me to cook in the kitchen... He doesn't want to always have to "entertain our children", would that not break your ears hearts'??
    I'm so numb/sad/angry... But yet head over heels for my baby blessings, so I refuse to let him get the best of us... An example: she LOVED to eat apples b4, one of the very few healthy foods that I didn't have to trick her into eating, see her and I have such a special bond, and since daddies been home it's like he's trying to bring the naughty out in her or something... Now she's dealing with off and on constipation, right now bella's dealing with that and a sore red cracked and bloody anus because if it... And bryns teething up a storm, both being extremely picky, and to top it off I find myself freezingup and not knowing what to give them... And we have options! All she seems to want is.....yea.... Junkfood I'm not sure my question... I hope any of you mamas might have sone insight for this sad distressed mama. Maybe some creative yet simple ideas just for snacks even? Btw I meant to mention that now when I give her an apple, which she used to devour, she will bite it and spit it out... She's like in rebel mode, only still loving! Except for when she tips her baby sister like a cow onto her back on the hardwood floor.. I feel like I have alot of make up work/bonding to do with both my girlys, but feedings in general give mr grey hairs, literally alllll day is consumed by their naps and ( separately but if course, Eh) just figuring out what to offer them when they awake! I DREAD it day in and out... thanks for listening....
    We just and I am non-stop and we have always and now we are finding our groove with I can't believe it, but I am also and there's alot of going on with Annabella. This mama couldn't be more grateful for the two most important loves of her life, and my natural ability to instinctively follow my heart according to what I later learned as "Attachment Parenting"

    Gave birth to a beautiful little girl Annabella

    9-25-08



    Gave birth to a second beautiful little baby girl Brynleigh

    4-30-10

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    His name was Cornball Wallace...
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    318

    Default Re: Kind of a big one mamas, but super desperate cry for help/support...

    Oh sugar, I am SO sorry to read about all of this! My heart goes out to you. First off; as cliche as this may sound, remember to BREATHE. You will wake up tomorrow and love with a full heart and relief will come as this naughty "husband" has something else to drain his energy during the day...I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you that he takes out his crummy attitude elsewhere and leaves it at the door!
    In all honesty, my first instinct as a mum reading this was to say "get those poor girls and yourself away from that jerk, mama!" but I know things aren't just so cut and dry and easy as that. Do not let him push you around though, you are not alone in that you have at the very LEAST my/our support here to help you along.
    Now, that I have said all of that...for your poor little constipated young ladies...that is a toughie, but I do have ideas-a-plenty.

    -Try offering fruits & veggies with a garnish or a side if there's no way they'll take them plain. For example:
    Apples with cheddar or honey
    Celery with bleu cheese or peanut butter
    Strawberries sprinkled with brown sugar or drizzled with a bit of chocolate syrup
    -Whole wheat crackers
    -100% juice-some companies, such as Izze (not sure where you're located but maybe you have seen that before), also offer carbonated juice (not sugared juice, just juice) so it's just like a soda pop.
    -Nuts, especially pistachios
    -Popcorn (obviously the natural, not so salty buttery stuff lol) or grilled corn on the cob or ect..
    -Try making a trail mix: popcorn, peanuts, raisins, dried apples and chocolate chips is just one of many ideas that could be used..
    -Sandwiches on rye or whole wheat
    -Legumes-bean burritos (esp. in whole wheat tortillas!), baked beans, bean dip?
    -Whole wheat muffins
    -Oatmeal/breakfast bars
    -Grits with a bit of chocolate melted in or a bit of honey stirred in
    -Whole wheat pasta-esp with tomato sauce
    -Baked potato with the skin (that's the part that's really high fiber)

    .................................................. ..I get all this from being myself a picky eater--mostly I just have a RIDICULOUS sweet tooth--and trying to eat healthy at the same time. Ha ha

    I hope that this can be of some help to you mama.
    Proud wife to Paul , dedicated SAHM to our O.O. born 00:00:00 on 08 Nov 2010,

    Look for us in the upcoming September 2011 issue of LLLGB's magazine, "BREASTFEEDING MATTERS" as well as LLL's upcoming booklet on relactation!
    & A proud daughter to a LLLL may she RIP.
    Relactated from scratch after a complicated birth(BAD hospital)...
    Now relatched and & ing after 5 months of 100% EBM feeding
    Planning permanent lactation.
    A millionaires baby fed with commercial baby milk has a poorer diet than the poorest family's baby who is breastfed.-WHO, 1997
    My story-for those looking to relactate, relatch, or boost their milk supply

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: Kind of a big one mamas, but super desperate cry for help/support...



    I'm sure the lack of work has alot to do with his additude and such, not that it makes it ok for him to act that way.

    Mine can be a real ass most of the time, and we seam to go in spurts when hes much beter then others.
    I try to take the kids and do things with them so he has lots of space, do I get burnt out sure Do I think about driving away sometime and never comming back sometimes.
    Hang in there.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    Maine
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    Default Re: Kind of a big one mamas, but super desperate cry for help/support...

    healthy snacks:

    toast with peanut butter for older one
    any sliced fruit: my LO loves watermelon, grapes, pineapple, blueberries, bananas, pears and peaches - anything! Just have some cut up ahead of time in the fridge in tupperware then it doesn't have to be stressful.

    For veggies, cucumber spears, red pepper slices, asparagus, peas, corn, tomatoes, avocado.

    If at first your LOs don't seem to like it, just keep trying. It can take babies up to fifteen times of being introduced to a food for them to be okay with it. so don't lose hope if it's not received with smiles immediately.

    Other good snacks: sliced cheese, black beans, cottage cheese, plain full fat yogurt, hummus on an multi grain cracker (like wasa).

    When my LO was about 11 mos, he was eating the same meals we were eating for the most part. Just keep introducing foods and trying it out.

    Good luck mama.
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: Kind of a big one mamas, but super desperate cry for help/support...

    Stop buying junk food. Don't have it in the house and don't offer it to your child. You are the mother. You are in complete control of the food she CHOOSES FROM. A child that is only presented with healthy options will STILL CHOOSE FOOD if they are hungry. ALL FRUITS and Veggies are quick healthy options and a ton of them can be served raw. If your child has developed a tasted for salty, or sweet processed foods, you may have a couple of rough days. But we are animals. We are hard wired to survive. If all there is is healthy food she will eat it. And it would probably do WONDERS for your disposition as well.

    Heres a list of what we have in Rotation for Snacks in my House This week:
    Raw: Apples, Oranges, Pomellos, Grapes, Blueberries, Bananas, Plums, Baby carrots, cucumbers and Pineapple and applesauce.
    Dry: Veggies Sticks, Ack Mak Crackers, Snappea Crisps, Popcorn, Raisins and Dried Cranberries.
    Packaged: Yogurt Tubes,(We freeze them and feed them for dessert) String Cheese, Fruit cereal bars and Granola bars.

    NONE of that even needs to be cooked. This isn't hard. It's a choice. Shop the perimeter of your store and START with the produce section. Build your meals around the fruits and veggies.

    If DJ doesn't eat everything in his lunch box everyday, that means he ate one less piece of fruit. Or not as much rice as I'd like. It's not an either "He eats junk or he doesn't eat" No. If all his options are real food, than even if he doesn't choose it all he is still eating healthy food.

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    Maine
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    Default Re: Kind of a big one mamas, but super desperate cry for help/support...

    Maybe it would be helpful to know what you're currently feeding them for breakfast/lunch/dinner snacks so we could offer some ideas about alternatives?
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Brussels, Belgium
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    Default Re: Kind of a big one mamas, but super desperate cry for help/support...

    Hi mama, I've been in your shoes with going through a rough (very rough!) patch. Several, in fact! DH & I are happier today than before the problems began because we learned how to support each other better. It may sound funny, but I don't regret learning and growing from those lessons, although I never want to hurt like that again

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlxbKVV5M_g this made me laugh
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Brussels, Belgium
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    1,302

    Default Re: Kind of a big one mamas, but super desperate cry for help/support...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*andrea.wolford View Post


    I'm sure the lack of work has alot to do with his additude and such, not that it makes it ok for him to act that way.

    Mine can be a real ass most of the time, and we seam to go in spurts when hes much beter then others.
    I try to take the kids and do things with them so he has lots of space, do I get burnt out sure Do I think about driving away sometime and never comming back sometimes.
    Hang in there.
    Everybody does! You'd be crazy not to think about jumping ship. We're all programmed to move on to the next one, but who ever became happy by blindly following their instincts? Nah, I'll pick having a family for decades over being on the singles market over and over, and maybe never getting off it again. Yep, sometimes it's just a question of being tolerant to the annoying times, and knowing that it's just temporary, the good times will return.
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

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