I will say that something is telling me to go through with it and give it X amount of weeks/months but I don't know if I have that time to commit at his stage of independence. He is EVERYWHERE and is very much a momma's boy so he loves being near me, touching me or me holding him. I have had several dreams over the past few nights about me breastfeeding. I guess in my mind I am kinda thinking that I will be pumping and then to my surprise I will look down and see milk going into the bottles. I know it's only a dream but when I wake up I feel so good and like my body or mind rather is trying to tell me something...or it could be my way of dealing with it. If I can't do it in real life I guess I can in my dreams.
I miss the bond I had with him when he was nursing even if he didn't have one. I guess I'm trying to hold onto his baby-ness since he's getting older.