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Thread: Bfing has turned into a battleground, please help!!

  1. #1

    Default Bfing has turned into a battleground, please help!!

    I have a six month old daughter who is getting to be impossible to breastfeed. When she was first born none of the lactation consultants or nurses could get her to latch on so I was told to use a nipple shield. I tried weaning her off of it every few days but she would always scream when I tried feeding her without it. Around 4 months she started feeding without the shield but she didn't have a proper latch. Her mouth doesn't open wide enough and she doesn't have her lips flanged out. If I try to manually open her mouth more or pull down her lips gently, she just screams and pulls off.

    She now hates the shield and will pull it off whenever I try to use it, but since she doesn't have a proper latch it hurts so badly to feed her without it. She has also started attacking me when I feed her (kicking, pushing, biting, scratching, rolling around, refusing to eat, etc) UNLESS I have her swaddled. It's gotten to the point where I cannot feed her unless she's swaddled. I hate tying her down and it feels like breastfeeding has become such a battle instead of a sweet, bonding thing like it used to be for us when she was younger.

    I've really started to hate feeding her, it hurts so badly to feed her without the shield, I can't get her to latch properly, and I have to swaddle her or she won't eat. She bites me about 10 times a nursing session too.

    I called a lactation consultant at my hospital and they said a six month old is so set in their ways there is no way they can help me change any of her latch or swaddle problems so I shouldn't bother coming in for help. I've been dealing with it since I thought it might be a phase, but it has been going on for two months now and I am completely miserable and sore.

    To top it all off, I think I may have thrush too since my nipples are burning so badly, although that may just be from the bad latch.

    Someone, please help me. I really want to feed her until she self weans.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denver, Co.
    Posts
    1,164

    Default Re: Bfing has turned into a battleground, please help!!

    I'm sorry you're going through this.
    Your LO is lucky to have a dedicated mama like you.

    I think you can get a 6-month-old to change - though I'm no expert. Can you get to a local LLL meeting? I would try to find a different LC - preferably one who is an IBCLC.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  3. #3

    Default Re: Bfing has turned into a battleground, please help!!

    Thank you. I can get to a LLL meeting, but the next one isn't for a month. Has anyone experienced a similar problem?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,259

    Default Re: Bfing has turned into a battleground, please help!!

    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! Has your LO been checked for thrush? That could be making her mouth uncomfortable and causing the nursing issues...
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    375

    Default Re: Bfing has turned into a battleground, please help!!

    My daughter is similar, although maybe not quite as bad. Have you tried different positions? Not just cradle and football, but things like side lying or even walking around while nursing (sling would help with this)...possible try propping her up on you lap so she's sort of sitting and facing you...?

    It's probably not this, but have you had her checked for an ear infection(s) that might be causing pain?

    I definitely second finding a different LC - someone who tells you that you're s.o.l. without even doing an assessment isn't someone you really want to take advice from.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Bfing has turned into a battleground, please help!!

    @firefly- I have tried different positions. She does well if I'm feeding her walking around in the Ergo, but I mostly try to feed her side-lying and she just won't stop "attacking" me in that position.

    @mommal - You know, I've been thinking it may be thrush since my nipples hurt so badly. I looked at her mouth and didn't see anything but I think I'm going to ask her Pediatrician to check her out for that and anything else that could be causing this.

    I think I will try and see a different LC, I was just hoping someone on here may have the magic solution so I wouldn't have to shell money out for a LC haha.

    Thank you all, and any other suggestions are very welcome.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Brussels, Belgium
    Posts
    1,302

    Default Re: Bfing has turned into a battleground, please help!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*molly89 View Post
    @firefly- I have tried different positions. She does well if I'm feeding her walking around in the Ergo, but I mostly try to feed her side-lying and she just won't stop "attacking" me in that position.

    @mommal - You know, I've been thinking it may be thrush since my nipples hurt so badly. I looked at her mouth and didn't see anything but I think I'm going to ask her Pediatrician to check her out for that and anything else that could be causing this.

    I think I will try and see a different LC, I was just hoping someone on here may have the magic solution so I wouldn't have to shell money out for a LC haha.

    Thank you all, and any other suggestions are very welcome.
    Psst, she's not attacking you, she just doesn't know a better way to bf. Poor thing! It really sounds like the pain issue is LO doesn't know how to latch well, so here are some latching resources:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/basics/index.html

    Also, since you describe a latching problem with a shallow latch, you might also be looking at vasospasms, which can trigger burning sensations and be mistaken for thrush:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...blanching.html

    Thrush is still very common so if you see the telltale white spots, or even if not, it could still be thrush. Just want you to be aware of the two possible things that can trigger burning sensations, so you're that much more likely to find the source

    (If you look in my signature you'll see I've links to Raynaud's phenomena, which is a whole other kettle of fish. Don't fret I'm in a wool sweater and my fingernails are mulberry purple even though it's room temp, that's Raynaud's. You probably don't have Raynaud's, but if you did, it's still a treatable condition.)

    That's understandable and good thinking to try free resources first. A LLL Leader might be able to pop over for free and give you help. But just calculate the cost of formula, bottle and sanitation supplies, increased infant sickness, etc. and the cost of 1-3 appts with an IBCLC and you'll see money in the bank! Also, if you're keen to save money, have you thought about cloth diapering? (Oops! OT but it really helps save money)
    Last edited by @llli*bxlgirl; March 19th, 2011 at 01:41 AM. Reason: IBCLC cost
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

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