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Thread: Something on my mind - TTC and breastfeeding

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Exclamation Something on my mind - TTC and breastfeeding

    I thought, before my little guy was born that when he was 1 year old, I'd wean him and then TTC the next (and last) baby. Part of my reasoning is my age - turning 37 in May. I count myself lucky my son was born 100% healthy/perfect (it was a huge relief, actually...)

    I'm rethinking things now...I think I will let my son self-wean (within reason) and if I get PG, fine...if not, that's ok, too...?

    If I was younger (ie: a lot) I would not be concerned with making another baby sooner, rather than later.

    What started my "brain thinkins" was a thread on this forum - someone said something about not denying the baby you already have what he/she deserves in order to make another baby. Does that make sense? Like your/my relationship with the babies we have now are important and special?

    All of this is weighing rather heavily on my mind - not to mention the fact I'm not sure I can handle two children under the age of 2 (I also have a 7 year old step son!)
    Breastfeeding Mommy to Roger - born February 16th, 2011 via emergency C-section.

  2. #2
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    Dec 2009
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    Default Re: Something on my mind - TTC and breastfeeding

    I'll share my thoughts.

    I have a 19 month old and a 2 month old, I'm 34, and I work full time (starting back tomorrow actually). I did NOT intend to get pregnant so soon, and I certainly shed some tears over the early weaning of my son - he was not interested in nursing once my milk went away, which it did early on.

    I worry constantly that my son isn't getting enough attention, that he's not getting to be a baby long enough, etc. My mom said something to me yesterday that just really struck home. I was carrying him out of the zoo yesterday (he had fallen asleep in the wagon and kept almost falling out ) while she pushed my daughter in the stroller. I remarked to her how little snuggling I get to do with him anymore, how I'm always nursing and holding M, I worry he doesn't get enough attention; she said "he's getting exactly the amount of attention that's right for YOUR family."

    So the point of that rambling ramble was to say that I wouldn't worry about it too much. The decision may be taken out of your hands, the way mine was. I certainly don't regret my daughter; I love her to pieces. And I certainly understand the urge to go ahead and have more. I'm already thinking ahead if/when for #3 b/c of the age thing.

    Whatever you decide will be perfect. Two under 2 is great - well, it's gonna be great.
    Little SW, Aug '09
    Miss MW, Jan '11
    Sir RW, Oct '12
    3 kids in 38 mos

  3. #3
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    Feb 2011
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    Default Re: Something on my mind - TTC and breastfeeding

    Part of what influenced my thought process is having a newborn awake 200 times per night. At those times, I questioned my sanity having one! lol
    Breastfeeding Mommy to Roger - born February 16th, 2011 via emergency C-section.

  4. #4
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    Mar 2011
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    Default Re: Something on my mind - TTC and breastfeeding

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy36 View Post
    What started my "brain thinkins" was a thread on this forum - someone said something about not denying the baby you already have what he/she deserves in order to make another baby.
    My $0.02: I feel like you could make this argument all the way through until your first child was grown and out of the house, or even after that. It isn't selfish to want to have another child, even if that means weaning your first. And though the first may lose something in terms of parents' attention, length of breastfeeding, etc., he/she will gain the relationship of a sibling and getting to experience his/her parents in a different family dynamic.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Something on my mind - TTC and breastfeeding

    I had DD1 at 36 and DD2 at 38. They are 22 months apart.

    My period returned 16 weeks after DD1 was born and did again after DD2 as well. No vacations from Aunt Flo for me.

    DD1 weaned at 17 months mainly due to my crazy work schedule. I was gone before she'd wake in the morning and sometimes I worked so late, she'd be asleep by the time I got home. It got to the point where I was only dream nursing her in the middle of the night or in the morning before I left for work. I'd leave her sleeping in bed with DH. She got to the point where she just didn't ask any more as she got accustomed to me not being available to her any longer.

    My point is that you don't have to wean in order to get pregnant. Your cycle will probably return without weaning once your baby starts sleeping through the night. You can nurse through your pregnancy and even tandem nurse if that suits you and your family.

    Having 2 under 2 isn't easy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We haven't decided if we're going to have #3 or not quite yet. If we do, I'll be 40 or 41 when they're born. I freely admit that my age is a factor in the spacing of our children. They are / will be closer because we started later in life. However I won't let my age be a factor in the size of our family. If we want 3, we'll try for 3.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  6. #6
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    Mar 2011
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    Default Re: Something on my mind - TTC and breastfeeding

    I also want to encourage you ladies that my mom was 41 when she had me and my dad was 50 (planned pregnancy). And that was in 1980, when having babies at that age was much less common than it is today. Their doctor told them not to try to get pregnant with me. For the most part, having older parents has had many benefits and a few drawbacks. I'm sure it was hard on them when we were little (my brother is 26 months older than me), but I truly think it kept them "younger" than they would have been otherwise. My dad is now 81 and is the "youngest" 81-year-old you'll ever meet!

  7. #7
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Something on my mind - TTC and breastfeeding

    about age.

    All of my babies have been born when I could be considered "advanced maternal age." The actual risk of there being a problem because of your age is about 1%. Really. If you run the numbers as a percentage, that's what it comes out to be. And that's NO different than the risk for a younger woman.

    One of my BFFs had a Down's baby at 31.

    My 4th baby was born with a cleft. That happens to anyone.

    If we have another baby I will be 39-40. That's not old!

    I tell myself to not TTC before baby who is here is a year old. They NEED a year at least of mama milk. Then, it's all up in the air. I'd prefer if each of my babies got two years -- and we come really quite close because I nurse during pregnancy, but I know they are not getting milk during pregnancy because it vanishes.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Something on my mind - TTC and breastfeeding

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*az View Post
    My $0.02: I feel like you could make this argument all the way through until your first child was grown and out of the house, or even after that. It isn't selfish to want to have another child, even if that means weaning your first. And though the first may lose something in terms of parents' attention, length of breastfeeding, etc., he/she will gain the relationship of a sibling and getting to experience his/her parents in a different family dynamic.
    Right. But in terms of age especially at the age she is at, it IS a valid argument. At 37 there is a HUGE chance she won't get pregnant on her own even if she does wean her one year old. I agree with the initial sentiment. I am 38 and am sadly and quietly trying to make peace with the fact that a 2nd child just may not be coming. And to that end I take GREAT comfort in the fact that I didn't not push or hurry my son along. That I didn't wean early him for a phantom child that has not yet appeared.

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #9
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Something on my mind - TTC and breastfeeding

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    I take GREAT comfort in the fact that I didn't not push or hurry my son along. That I didn't wean early him for a phantom child that has not yet appeared.
    I feel bad still about nightweaning my oldest, before HE was ready, to get pregnant again. Then that baby died in utero, and in the end, I was no further along than if I had just left things alone and let nature take its course.

    However, age alone does not mean you can't get pregnant without help. I know lots of 40-somethings pregnant without help.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Something on my mind - TTC and breastfeeding

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*aprilsmagic View Post
    I feel bad still about nightweaning my oldest, before HE was ready, to get pregnant again. Then that baby died in utero, and in the end, I was no further along than if I had just left things alone and let nature take its course.

    However, age alone does not mean you can't get pregnant without help. I know lots of 40-somethings pregnant without help.
    I don't. Know anyone. And I think it's one thing to wean a child before they are ready when you are ALREADY pregnant. Because then you are at least doing it for a REAL BABY. But after 35 to wean for the Idea of a child is another thing entirely.

    Way too lazy for formula

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