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Thread: Not understanding peoples problem with breastfeeding toddler

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    New York, Bronx
    Posts
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    Default Not understanding peoples problem with breastfeeding toddler

    Hello,

    I recently made a year breastfeeding my son. I am very proud of this given my two unsuccessful attempts, yet I m getting nothing but hate from my family. My friends make comments that he’s to big now, my friends boyfriend who is a doctor says it’s only recommend up to six months. He even made a common "that some Spanish people seem to keep it going for much longer" like there’s something wrong with that. I felt like he was implying am weird. My mother in law keeps making comments. She just called me a few minutes go to tell me that she was speaking to her friend who told her that I may be putting my body at harm and the reason for my recent dental problems are due to me breastfeeding, that the baby is taking all my vitamins. She told me I should stop breastfeeding him and give him regular milk. I am tired of fighting people on this and trying to educate them, I don’t want to hide and nurse but I am exhausted having to explain myself, like I am doing something wrong. I feel so happy to nurse him, I feel like its the most natural thing I have ever done.

    I wish they would back up. Is it time for regular milk? Or do I do both, I am not even sure when to introduce regular milk. I just feel so defensive. So confused.
    Mom to Mariella 8/6/05, Konstantinos 10/24/06 and Antonis 3/4/10, breastfeeding for the first time. Just make a year!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Northern BC, Canada
    Posts
    433

    Default Re: Not understanding peoples problem with breastfeeding toddler

    This makes me soo mad. A good friend of mine weaned her girl at 12m because of pressure from people. She went through a major depression and now feels guilty about the early weaning. Its no ones business but you and baby.
    Ps my LO is only 7m and my mom is starting on me. I just tell her I'll stop when LO tells me shes done, or she starts school This is not really my intention but it shuts mom up!
    July 30, 2010-6lbs 2oz- 41w 4d (emergency c-section.) Known dairy, eggs, dogs and cats allergies, eczema, and asthma
    Bonus June 22, 2006 (is 50/50 Custody ) (born 32w) Sensitive to changing temps.
    We BF, BW, Co-sleep and use cloth diapers/pull-ups!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Southern Indiana
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    128

    Default Re: Not understanding peoples problem with breastfeeding toddler

    My LO will be 28 months on the 22nd and still breastfeeds pretty much whenever she wants. I get the same from family but I just tell them she doesn't like cows milk, which she doesn't and she will quit when she is ready. Why take away something that comforts her and isn't hurting her. They have no answer for that at all. Keep doing what is best for you and baby and don't let them rush either of you into something. I also tell them that it's only frowned upon in the states to nurse past 12 months other countries don't think anything of it. LOL
    I serve an awsome God!!

    Bailee 9y

    JW 6y

    Liberty 3y
    Ethaniel

  4. #4
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    Mar 2010
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    New York, Bronx
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    Default Re: Not understanding peoples problem with breastfeeding toddler

    I totally know I should not let it get to me, but its so frustrating. I dont want to lash out at anyone but I wish they would just stop. My sister keeps telling me to nurse in private but I refuse to hide, I am not doing anything wrong. I will just start telling people i will quit when he goes to away to college, lol.
    Mom to Mariella 8/6/05, Konstantinos 10/24/06 and Antonis 3/4/10, breastfeeding for the first time. Just make a year!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    2,616

    Default Re: Not understanding peoples problem with breastfeeding toddler

    The World Health Organization recommends a minimum of 24 months. The AAP 12 months and then as long as mom and toddler want. Your family needs to be educated and quit saying negative things to you.

    My MIL asked how long we'd nurse when DD was about 13 months. I said we'd wean when she was ready and I really don't know when that will be. I still don't know when that will be at almost 20 months. It doesn't look to be anytime soon because she loves to nurse! Regardless it's nobody's business.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20,621

    Default Re: Not understanding peoples problem with breastfeeding toddler

    Mama, opinions are like armpits. Everyone has them, and most of the time they stink.

    There's no reason to stop nursing at this point, and every reason to keep going. Nursing provides your baby with needed calories and comfort, and the longer you nurse the better it is for your health. You reduce your risk of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and cancer, and you don't increase your risk of dental problems (that's an old wive's tale).

    The next time your mother in law says "I was discussing you and your breastfeeding with my friend," you might want to call her on it. How is it her friend's business what you do with your breasts?

    And if your friend's boyfried makes another "Spanish people" comment, just nod and say "Yes, it's true that they're smarter than average."
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    Ohio
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    Default Re: Not understanding peoples problem with breastfeeding toddler

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    Mama, opinions are like armpits. Everyone has them, and most of the time they stink.



    It is your decision. You and your toddler and no one else (with the exception of DH maybe) has a say in how long you nurse. Don't let anyone get you down. One of the Leaders in our local group had the best reply when someone asks if you are still nursing. Say, "Yes, why?" And if a doctor is saying breastfeeding is only recommended to 6 months he needs to go back to med school! Not a doc I would want to go to if he is that far behind the times.

    For the cow's milk...my LO is 21 months and he has just started tasting cow's milk and only because he sees his big brothers drink it and wants to have what they are having. I feel betrayed when he takes a drink and say "Mmm"

    The vitamins...take a good multi vitamin and Vitamin D3. Make sure you eat a balanced diet and there should be no reason to worry. Dental decay can be from MANY MANY things besides hygeine as well. Genetics, steriods, antibiotics and many other things play a big part in dental health. Many of us were born in the times that doctors wrote out Rx's for antibiotics for EVERYTHING. Many Drs still do. That alone can cause our adult teeth to weaken before they even develop.

    I would probably tell my friend to stop giving me crap about it. Maybe say something like, "I'm glad that you worry about me so much that you are talking about me with other people but I don't appreciate being told what I should do when there is no evidence to back up your argument."

    Jsut an idea for you. Family can be the worst to deal with but once they realize that they aren't going to push you around they will give up.
    Michelle

    Wife to Donnie , my best friend
    Mom to Trenton 1/9/97, Dillan 11/22/01, Ashton 6/19/09

    All boys, weaned at 15 months, at home with Ashton

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Oklahoma
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    174

    Default Re: Not understanding peoples problem with breastfeeding toddler

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*3boysmomma View Post


    It is your decision. You and your toddler and no one else (with the exception of DH maybe) has a say in how long you nurse. Don't let anyone get you down. One of the Leaders in our local group had the best reply when someone asks if you are still nursing. Say, "Yes, why?" And if a doctor is saying breastfeeding is only recommended to 6 months he needs to go back to med school! Not a doc I would want to go to if he is that far behind the times.

    The vitamins...take a good multi vitamin and Vitamin D3. Make sure you eat a balanced diet and there should be no reason to worry. Dental decay can be from MANY MANY things besides hygeine as well. Genetics, steriods, antibiotics and many other things play a big part in dental health. Many of us were born in the times that doctors wrote out Rx's for antibiotics for EVERYTHING. Many Drs still do. That alone can cause our adult teeth to weaken before they even develop.

    I would probably tell my friend to stop giving me crap about it. Maybe say something like, "I'm glad that you worry about me so much that you are talking about me with other people but I don't appreciate being told what I should do when there is no evidence to back up your argument."

    Jsut an idea for you. Family can be the worst to deal with but once they realize that they aren't going to push you around they will give up.
    Amen amen sister
    Kristin

    Momma to Benjamin, we recently made it nursing to age 2!!!!

    Benjamin born 9-17-09

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Portland, Or
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    60

    Default Re: Not understanding peoples problem with breastfeeding toddler

    I know exactly how you feel, when I was still BFing at six months ppl were like "Okay are you going to stop soon? He's already gotten what he needs from you" Then we made it to a year and all we heard was "Your STILL BFing??!?" Now that he's 2 we don't really talk about it much, becuase now he only does it at nap time and bed time. My MIL thinks its the weirdest thing, and says he is the only baby IN THE WORLD that she has heard of that didn't take a bottle. What really helps is having some support. I always asked DF how he felt about us continuing BFing, once he saw how big our son was and how much he was thriving on the milk he brags about it all the time lol. Plus once he heard that the world average age for breastfeeding is way higher, he has been super supportive. He doesn't want to take something away from him thats only helping him with immunities and giving him comfort. There are still 2 year olds on bottles, why would I take away the boo boos, and be like here's a bottle of milk or something like that.. it makes no sense.
    Still nursing strong since 1/11/09! ! Still sleeping in the family bed Expecting Baby #2 5-29-11!!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    NE PA
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    Default Re: Not understanding peoples problem with breastfeeding toddler

    My little guy is two and still nursing and I am starting to get this routine from my parents (mainly my dad). I just tell him it is not his decision- he isn't on either end of these boobs!!!
    Jessica

    Moma to DS1-the monkinroanie (3/09) and DS2-the sweet pumpkin (5/12)
    Strong Women- May we have the delight of knowing them, the courage to be them and the privilege of raising them.
    And yes I know my spelling terrible (is that spelled right? )

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