I just started with my 16 month old. He has a full size bed in his room; which is directly next to mine. I placed his bed against one wall and bought the xtra high side rail; which covers the whole side of the bed. I made a BIG deal about his bed, saying things like "Oh look its a BIG BOY BED, yeah my baby is a BIG boy!", I also bought "cars" bedding, as it is his favorite toy. :D I lay down with him and nurse him until he falls asleep, then I go to my room. Sometimes he wakes up twice a night, somenights every hour, but I go to him. I bring him back to my bed by 5:30 am since it is the time I get up to shower the days that I work, and the days I'm off, we just snuggle in the mornings. I have been doing this for the past week and so far its working, even the days he was miserable teething his big molars. Now he grabs my hand for nap time and bed time, takes me to his room, gets in front of the bed and raises his arms saying "ahhhh" aka "BIG BOY BED":lol
We are also in the middle of making the switch from ds in our bed to his own bed. He is about 2 1/2 and we had tried earlier but it didn't work so well for us. We got him a toddler bed for x-mas and Thomas the Tank Engine sheets and bedspread and a pillow pal so that when he bulks at night about going to bed in his bed I make a big deal about his Thomas bed. He is doing pretty well with it but I lay down and nurse or snuggle him to sleep and when he wakes up in the middle of the night he brings his sippy cup of milk into our bedroom and finishes out the night in our bed. I have not attempted to get him to go back to sleep in his room and I think that may be why he rarely cries when he wakes up he just heads into our room and gets in bed with me. DH works nights and cannot take over bedtime so I'm really hoping the transition continues to go well before #2 gets here.
I put my son in his own bed a month or two ago, because he was waking every 1/2 hour in with me and I really felt I needed my own space. He continues to wake on average 2-3 times a night and for the first couple wakings I will go to him and put him back down in his bed. On towards morning I will bring him into my bed but I can't sleep with him nursing anymore. He is too wriggly and I find the non nutrive sucking irritating. So, I still do not get very good sleep but I do fill that need to have space at night time. For much of the day he is on me when I am not working.
We coslept with DS1 until DH figured out we were waking each other up (must have been that mother-son psychic connection ;) ) Anyway once we let him have his own room, he slept better (go figure) but would still sometimes wake and come into my bed during the night. Then DS2 came along. We coslept until I couldn't take the all-night (I mean non-stop) nursing. He never slept well in his own room, but when we put the two boys together, they BOTH started to sleep better (went to sleep with less argument, stayed asleep longer, slept deeper) especially since we got them matching big boy beds with matching bedding. ITA children don't like to sleep alone!
My advice is to not create unnecessary stress in your life and in your child's life by trying to take the lead on this - follow your child's lead and block out any judgment or perceived judgment from anyone who doesn't agree. There was a quote a friend posted recently....the faster you pick your child up, the faster they will get down. It's so true. Don't push them, and don't try to force them to be independent before they are ready.
Cherish this time, you know it feels good to snuggle!! ;)