my ds is the same age of your dd, he also hates cows milk. I give him a cup of half whole milk and half yogurt and he loves that.
Greek yogurt, I find, has a much thicker consistency, so is less likely to be dribbled everywhere, if you decide to let your LO feed herself. This doesn't mean there won't still be a mess though :D, but I think it's easier for babies/toddlers to eat.
Sounds a lot like my DD. She doesn't nurse during the day at all anymore. But she does still nurse when she wakes at night. I really thought she was weaning, but now she is nursing more through the night. I think I am just going to go with her cues.
I am in the same boat with DD2, she only nurses 4 times a day and sometimes it will be for maybe 10 min but sometimes its only until the letdown finishes and she pops right off. She has never loved it and never asks so, like you, I offer and get rejected a lot. It is frustrating and honestly it hurts my feelings. DD1 was just polar opposite, she nursed all the time, anytime I offered and usually for a minimum of 10 min, almost always 20-30 min. And at a year, she barely ate any solids, was huge and round and nursed 7 times a day, not at night. It is hard to say about the nightweaning, I was sneaking into DD2's room and nursing her in her sleep at night for many months cause I thought she needed it. Anyway, daytime did improve after stopping that feeding, but it was just one feeding and she actually stopped it herself during a 10 day strike that we had. I am somewhat glad cause it was hard getting up and I probably wouldn't have stopped it on my own since her weight gain is slow. Is weight any issue for you? That could help decide it for you. What about stopping one of the night feeds and see if that helped. You are right that it could go the other way and not pick up the day feeds, you'd have to be careful not to give more solids so that she makes it up. I am hoping someone else will respond and say they had a baby like this who changed later and nursed till 2 or so. I keep hoping for that but it doesn't seem to be changing for us, though she does seem to like it more than she did a few mths ago. I also pump a lot and give her milk in her straw cup at meals which she likes. She usually drinks about 2 oz that way and I am happy to give her that. It does stink to pump but it might be an idea for you.