Bumpity Bump Bump!:gvibes
Bumpity Bump Bump!:gvibes
Dusting off and bumping. For those of us that have been here for years and have nursed past the two year point eventually.....there is some GOOD GOOD stuff in here. FYI the OP is now nursing her THIRD baby. And almost everyone who chimed in on this thread nursed somebody until their 2nd birthday..... OR LONGER! Enjoy!
yes this is a great thread! DH has asked me several times how long babies usually nurse for, how long will DD nurse for, etc...but he was actually asking to be educated, not to pressure to wean.
DH and i have not had one moment alone since DD was born, and she is 19 months. I think that is more of his issue then weaning.
When DS was a baby and toddler he was super attached to me, and he wasnt pyhsically nursed due to his cleft lip and palate, thogh I did pump for him for 11 months. DH remembers how attached DS was to me, he says he was more attached then DD is, so I guess thats why he cant blame nursing on how attached the kids are to me...lol.
anyhow, great thread!
I am lucky to have a DH who is very supportive of breastfeeding. He was right there with his face inches from my nipple while the lactation consultant was helping with DS's latch in the beginning. He spent a few weeks kind of scoping out DS's latch, squatting down near the rocking chair to get a peek at the underside to be sure DS was far enough back. :lol
At any rate, I'd always planned to nurse for about a year, and never really though about nursing longer. Once nursing was well-established, about 6 months, I mentioned that I thought I'd plan to nurse DS until at least 15 months, to get him past the flu season, and DH agreed that made sense.
We're getting close to the year mark, and DH and I have generally discussed breastfeeding, with me saying that I'm not comfortable with cutting DS off from something that gives him comfort and that he needs. DH gets that. I think part of it is that he sees that it's not that I am pushing nursing on DS, it's that DS is requesting to nurse, that he turns to the breast when he's tired, scared, hurt, etc. Weaning would be taking that away from his son.
We also have a lot of just general, philosophical discussions about breastfeeding that aren't specific to us and our plans, which I think helps with his over-all comfort level and his thought process on nursing.
For example, there's a baby at our daycare who is on a different form of formula practically every week (which is not good), and DH sees how miserable this poor kid is, how he's thin and always seems to be unhappy and in pain (constipation, reflux, all kinds of issues). And the baby who already has an ear tube from frequent ear infections, who was also bottle-fed. And at night we talk about how glad we are that DS is healthy and happy, and wish that everyone would breastfeed.
We also talk about the old "too old if he can ask for it" canard, but in a general sense, as in "it's so ridiculous to say that a child should be weaned because he can ask to be breastfed." Pointing out that a baby communicates the need for breastfeeding through rooting, crying, patting the breast, turning with that open "fish-mouth" (DS, especially at night, will turn with his eyes closed shut and his mouth just opening and closing, hoping to encounter a nipple). Also, I say that it's just sad to punish a child for learning to communicate his emotional and physical needs. And how neat it is to see my son beginning to explore his identity in the form of expressing likes/dislikes and in-the-moment desires, like where he's playing, stops, tugs at my shirt, latches on, nurses for a minute, then laughs and crawls off. How having the freedom to explore and reconnect with mom helps his independence.
I think having some discussions at the policy level can help defuse some tensions and possible misunderstandings about "I want" and "your choice." Although there's definitely a place for talking about how each of you feels, for sure. But it helps for DH and I to talk through why you'd breastfeed beyond one in a kind of intellectual sense, in addition to talking about our family specifically. And we do it in a way that isn't me, defensively making a case for my choices, kwim?
Actually, we often have these talks at night in bed while DS nurses, as we're going to sleep ourselves, along the lines of "did you see that poor baby clutching his bottle to him like it was the most precious thing in the world? I'm so glad that our son has had so much human contact and nurturing that he's attached to people, not plastic).
None of which is to say that my DH is perfect, or that we're conflict-free about parenting (especially night-time parenting), but in general, we're exploring this territory together.
AAAH BUMP! For 2timemama
I know this is old...but for the sake of sharing. No. I did not have to convince my DH to BF or to BF for as long as I am. I am pregnant with #2 (18 weeks) and still nursing #1 who will be 3 in 2 months. I don't see her stopping before then - she's only night nursing now though. My DH trusts me that I am making the best choices for her. He knows that I read alot and that I am naturally going to do what's best. I think that he is just as anti-formula as I am so when we were having trouble at first he was nothing but supportive. Never mentioned bottles, etc. He's never once said anything about weaning. NEVER, even though I am PG and sometimes wince in pain when DD latches on.
That is great your husband is supportive! Mine is too. When DD nurses he asks her what she's doing and she taps my breast with her finger and then signs milk because she doesn't want to de-latch to talk. Now he asks her just because he thinks it's cute when she does that. She's not 2 until July but he has been very supportive of nursing as long as she wants. I don't know what will happen when I get pregnant but I don't see this little girl giving up any time soon!
:lol that's so sweet. Somtimes he will joke with her about getting it and she will get so mad and say "NO! MINES!!!"
This was kind of funny to open, although I didn't read the whole thread, given how long @llli*moose has nursed her children. :lol Funny to see that everyone goes through these things.
I didn't have to convince my DH to nurse past one, and he wouldn't have said anything about nursing past 2, I don't think, except I was pregnant. I believe that sometime when she was around 15 months old he might have said something about me weaning Lilah and the reaction he got from me was not a positive one.