I’ve suggested this website before, packed full of interesting and I believe, generally reassuring information about what the studies say (assuming there is a study) on many aspects of the whole baby sleep ‘controversy.’ http://www.isisonline.org.uk/
I learned the hard way that being overly concerned about how my oldest son slept, or did not sleep, particularly as an older baby and toddler, made me far more miserable than the actual lack of sleep. Once I accepted the situation, I could simply work on strategies to get more naps, stop trying to 'make' my son sleep differently, basically, once I relaxed about it, we were all much happier. And taking this approach has certainly not hurt anything. My two older kids are fantastic sleepers and have been for years.
People make a lot of money promoting their special way to make kids sleep and eat on someone else’s schedule that is supposedly needed. Books, TV programs, even personal sleep trainers who come to a family’s home and charge hundreds of dollars to put their child on an ‘individual’ schedule! Of course this means the mom or caregiver also becomes slave to some arbitrary schedule that is totally unneeded! It’s wacky.
Thanks for your responses, I feel much better. LLLMeg, great website! I've been reading it thoroughly! I'm honestly fine with baby waking at night since we co-sleep, I just don't like the judgment and when I tell people the night waking isn't that bad b/c we bedshare.. whoa, that triggers more looks and "advice"! Oh well, there are far worse things in life. Thanks again everyone.
My mother once told me a story about my brother - she said two weeks after he came home from the hospital, he was STTN and he was breastfed. She said she would sit on the couch awake and wait for him to wake up. Now, we know better now that babies shouldn't go more than 4 hours when they are THAT young, but it does happen. I also have a friend who BF/pumps at work and her 6 month old has been STTN for a while. Maybe there is something to the theory of needing skin contact until they are weaned. Idk, but my DD is up 2-3 times a night now and I don't mind terribly:) I think it's pretty normal for most BF babies to STTN later than FF babies.
With my now 5 month old, after we got home from the hosp on day 3, she slept 5 or 6 hours at night right of the bat. And we were cosleeping! I have overproduction even then and she was getting plenty, but I ended up with a plug the size of my open hand and mastitis. I found I had to set an alarm and rouse us both to nurse every 2 hours for a few weeks. I see this as an example of how nursing frequency is important for both mom and baby.
I actually think there is something to be said for waiting a bit to see if they settle. With Thomas we would wait to see if he was essentially talking in his sleep, and not really awake/hungry/etc, or if he was really waking. I have known people who run to the baby at the first murmur, and their babies seem to have a great deal of difficulty settling themselves (I always wondered if it was because they never got the opportunity, but that's obviously just my thought). If he was clearly waking, we got him and changed/fed/whatever he needed. They all sleep differently, and if what you're doing works for you, keep it up!
FWIW, I was formula fed. I didn't sleep through the night until I was three. My parents continue to remind me of this. I like the theory, filmmommy. My parents said that I just was too interested and observant in what was going on to want to go to sleep. I can definitely see this in my later childhood years. I'm the youngest, so I went to bed first and I was convinced that all sorts of fun stuff was happening after I went to bed. Or, maybe I was just a pain in the ass.
I do agree that people can make you feel like it's bad parenting. It seems like as soon as you bring the baby home there's this mad rush to get them to sleep through the night, like you've won some sort of brain teaser puzzle if you can get your baby to STTN. I think back to what my lactation consultant told me a few days before DD was born: You can't make a baby do anything. I often have to remind myself that she's right. I can create a good environment that encourages her to sleep, but I can't force her to do it.
I think that we do our own version of, la pause, although I didn't know there was a word for it. Sometimes we get to a point where we know that she's fed, and we know she has a clean dry diaper, and she's been snuggled and cuddled and everything else, and she still will make noises right after we put her down and go out to the living room. Not serious crying, just more like a muttering or two. And yes, at those points we will give it a minute to see if she quiets herself down or if it progresses. I'd say that it's about 75/25 that she quiets down. But even that doesn't mean that she sleeps through the night, just more that she gets a better stretch of sleep. We also only do this if we have just put her down, not if she starts crying after being asleep for a while.
Of my 3 girls (all BF), all slept through the night at one point, not at another, then again, then not.... :rolleyes: The good news is that my 4 year old and 2 year old are great sleepers now. :gvibes My 10 month old is coming along. She'll get there in her own time. :love
As they go through what they are developmentally ready for, or not, they sleep, or not. ;) Teething, colds, long days, new milestones, anything can interrupt sleep patterns.
Formula feeding does not cause STTN. http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleep/
As for the rest, it's just a French phrase for CIO (Cry It Out) which you'll probably find most Mom's here don't subscribe to. http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fus...-it-out-yes-no
P.S. My reaction to "Is she sleeping through the night?" is to laugh like it was the funniest joke ever, roll my eyes like they're nuts and say "Of course not!! Would you like another tea?" It has stopped everyone (so far) in their tracks. :D
I have this battle with my husband all the time. He feels we should do formula so our son will STTN since his sisters son is STTN and formula fed. I think its more than formula though helping with there son STTN he has his own room and is on the other side of the house. I know my son will go longer stretches with out eating if I am not in the room but once I am in the room he will wake up like clock work every 2 hours. I point out every child is different that some might STTN others might not but in the end its not him waking up to do the feedings I am. That our son only wakes me up since I wake up to the slightest sound and movement that our son not STTN doesn't affect my DH at all as much as he would like to think it does. I also point out the few times we had to use formula that he didn't enjoy having to wake up make the bottle that if we switch over he will be expected to take over half the feedings.Now he only brings the subject up here and there knowing this isn't a battle he win.
Isn't it funny? How something that affects no one other than you, gets so many recommendations and sometimes demands from people?
Not sleeping through the night IS NOT A PROBLEM! IT'S NORMAL!! Just because people TELL you it's a problem doesn't make it a problem. :p I haven't slept through the night myself in over 4.5 years. I've been pregnant and/or nursing babies that long. You adjust. You get accustomed to it. You make it work because you're an adult and you can. Just because sleep is different with a baby doesn't make it wrong.
Just do what you feel is right. Respond to your baby's needs. Do what works for you.
You might want to have your DH read this: http://www.ibreastfeeding.com/conten...-mental-health
I wanted to add that his sister's son is probably NOT sleeping through the night. With a baby in a room on the other side of the house, they just can't hear him when he wakes. They're ignoring his cries (by design, by forcing the child to be so far from them and unable to hear him). He's CIO. It breaks my heart to think of a baby, rooms away, crying, screaming, whimpering, reaching out and finding no one. No one coming for him. :( Or, he was CIO and he's now given up trying to get someone to come for him. :eye That's not 'better'. That's terribly sad in my opinion. :cry What a horrible, painful lesson for a baby to learn. Give up. No one is coming when you need them. :(