I think that would make me want to jump out of my skin and I already feel like that nursing my almost 2.5 yr old solo. The few times that DH and DD have been playing in the backyard when I got home from work (and I only work one day a week so I'm not comparing really) but when I've been able to get home and change my clothes and go potty alone and get a drink of water or snack or whatever, have been much easier evenings.
I really do encourage you to try to get some system going on where your kids know that you need to go potty and change clothes or whatever your come home routine is so you can transition a bit easier. I think you're just starting your evening home on a stressful note and not setting a good tone for the evening (not in a critical way saying that, I just think it's not really the happiest for you or your family). We still don't have it down that well, my little girl still asks to nurse as soon as I get home and often cries when I change my clothes but if daddy can go outside and get the mail with her or something else fun, it makes the evening just a little better.
Totally normal feelings!! I have bf my twins for almost two years. I totally get it. Lie down, pull shirt up, try to distract self while two giant babies scramble all over, kicking, poke me in the belly button, try to talk with nipple in mouth so end up biting, cry if I scratch my nose and inadvertently shift them in the process.... Hey, whose body is this anyway?!? I gave dh the cold shoulder for about a year just because I never got a second to myself. About coming home--I'll eat and go to the bathroom before I leave work. My girls of course follow me into my bedroom when I go to change clothes but as long as they get to see what I'm doing they seem ok. If I don't let them in the bedroom, there are tantrums outside the door. So, now I just make it a game for us. I ask them to help me find pants, etc. They love showing me into my own closet and pointing out clothes I should wear.