Well the analogy that I like to use is that you and I couldn't sleep on the floor of a bakery and not want to eat a doughnut. So it makes sense that a nursing child who is actively working on weaning will be far less tempted to nurse if they can't smell the sweet milk and the fountain they come from. AKA MOM.
Clearly he needs to be nightweaned and it would be better to do it now than right when you leave. Your DH is going to have to be able to deal with him at night, so it's probably best to do it while you're still there. I'm sorry you guys have to deal with this, I would be freaking right out. We had my DH do the bedtime first, for a couple months and then he took over the nightwakings. You have a bit shorter time... he will be ok. I know you know that. You will just have to make yourself NOT rescue them. Because you're not going to be able to do that in two months.
The way I weaned Lilah during the day was by just being SUPER busy. She was nursing with the same frequency you're talking about, I was 6 or 7 months pregnant and just could not do it anymore. We played, went to the park, etc. I also bought a bunch of fun crafty things to do to delay nursing. So I would say - yes, we can nurse - after we do xyz. If she really needed to nurse, then we nursed.
Yeah, nightweaning is definitely priority #1. I think that if I left with him still nursing a few times in the evening after work and on the weekend he would do okay. I know he will miss me, but he will anyway just because I'll be gone. The only reason we haven't started nightweaning is that we are currently all in the same hotel room. We move into our apartment a week from tomorrow.
I wonder if he will want to nurse again after I'm done with the class. :shrug If I go to the class in October I might have a long Veterans day or Thanksgiving weekend I could fly home and see them, so I might not have to go more than 3 weeks without seeing them.
Beth, I think you need to do the nightweaning. And it's going to be TOUGH. He will be crying. But your DH will be there holding him. It's not like you are CIO'ing. He may be angry and upset that you are not there nursing him, and he won't be happy about the comfort that is being offered because it's not what he wants. But better to do that now, where you can step in and help your DH out if he gets really upset (either of them) instead of cold-turkeying it when you have to go to the class. When we had to do that with our first and third babies, there were a few nights in the first week or 10 days where I did step in and take the kid because the kid was really quite distraught. And that was over pretty fast.
Then your plan to not come home for lunch is a good one. :ita
And when you come home, have dinner, go to the pool, go to the park, stay outside (hopefully it won't stay this boiling hot during September) and have fun, and then distract. I know he's hard to do that, as he's kind of possessive of his mama -- it was funny (not ha-ha though) how he wanted to nurse after you held baby G for me -- but if you stay busy and then tell him we will nurse at home, you can cut down the NIP, which will help with the number of demands and thus number of times you nurse. And then you might just have the AM and PM times.
Then you can decide if you want to pump, or need to pump, and when, while you are away.
He does seem like a kid who needs to nurse to reconnect, but he's also old enough to start learning some other ways to do that with. :ita Nursing is just one tool in the toolbox, and you can adjust it as needed.
I think it sounds like night weaning will help you guys a lot. Do you think that when you night wean and get settled into your new apartment you wont feel the urgency to completely wean? Logistically, if you night wean and you are working 8-9 hour days, you will probably be nursing in the morning, when you get home, and before bed. Maybe that amount of nursing will be okay for a while. Do you start work soon or is that after the 6 week course in October? Because if you start work soon, I'm guessing that this will work itself out to some degree (if you actively work on the nightweaning). It sounds like being in a hotel with you 24/7 is creating the open bar idea for him, kwim?
I have already started to work, but I don't have my badge to get into the building until Wednesday, so I have been in and out with initial appointments and such. Then I have no idea what my schedule will be, but I will be working full time until I leave for the class in October. Unfortunately the schedule for classes in the new fiscal year is not out yet, so I don't know an exact date for the class. But yes, since I have been home a lot and we are in the same room and it is boring, he has access to the "24 hour open mommy buffet" as DH calls it. We do get out of the room as much as possible, but there is only so much we can do, especially with the heat. I do think being at work will help though.
Susan, what you said about him nursing after I held Gavin, at least he just got a little bit miffed, when I held Jenna's Sam he was MAD. So, I guess he's getting a bit better! :lol