This is such a heartbreaking thread... I'm glad to hear you had a good weekend! I can only imagine the intense emotions you're feeling, and admire your stamina and patience, mama.
My only thought, which I didn't see mentioned here, is that perhaps he has a problem with the flavor of your milk - not because there's anything wrong with you, but because of a sensitivity to your diet. I've heard that something like 40% of colic is associated with lactose intolerance - babies who can't handle any cow milk products in mom's milk. Not sure if this would be at all related, based on his behaviour, but thought I'd put it out there.
Hang in there! :clap
Lactose intolerance is actually extremely rare in infants. Babies who are sensitive to dairy usually react to the protein rather than the lactose.
Originally Posted by @llli*emblby
Wow mama, I just want to start off by saying that you are doing a great job.
Now, I think you may have 2 separate issues and I'm only going to address the one I have experience with. As for refusing the bottle, have you tasted your expressed milk to check for a lipase issue?
My daughter was refusing bottles at daycare and we were able to find out that my milk starts to taste soapy after so many hours.
But even with fixing the lipase issue by scalding she would still refuse bottles. Basically if milk is super fresh, not scalded, not frozen and not in the fridge for too long she will always take it. If its not quite exactly how she is used to it tasting from the tap then she will refuse. I ended up moving her daycare super close to work so I could pump and then deliver the milk several times a day. This wasn't workable in the long term though so we kept experimenting with different bottles, temps, etc.
Strangely what has worked for us is to add 1 tsp of powdered formula per 3 oz of breastmilk. It does something to the taste of the pumped milk where she doesn't mind it.
Check with your ped first of course. Ours said not to do it because it wasn't safe but our ped dietitian recommended it to up the calorie content because she was eating so little at school. She said that she was old enough that her body could handle the concentrated nutrients. It ended up fixing the whole refusal issue all together.
And the other thing that worked for us while we were trying to get the bottle thing under control was to push nutrient dense, fatty solids. I know its counter-intuitive but as you said, it was in addition to what she was eating at school. She was only eating 6 ounces and the avocado or sweet potatoes coated in flax oil really helped us get over the hump. Since she is 6 months I would feel comfy trying more solids during the day.
FYI - we completely fell off the weight chart from 40% at birth. Now we are back up to 1% and I'm pretty happy about that.
Just something to try. Good luck mama!
Maybe someone has suggested this already, but it helped me when my LO was really suffering from acid reflux and was refusing the breast. It pained me liked no other, I knew she was hungry - yet she wouldn't eat. I found that if I nursed her in a weird position, in a weird location she would take it. I don't know why this works, but it did for me some of the time. I would nurse her standing up with her completely upright in the bathroom with the bright lights on. It was pretty funny, but it worked often I have to say. Just throwing this idea out there, maybe get creative and playful with it.
I was grateful for this when my LOs acid reflux was bad, because she didn't want to be horizontal at all - there are things you can do with a boob that you could never do with a bottle! :lol
Thank you to everyone for all the great recommendations, encouragement and support. My LO and I have had a very good week.
I have seen some great improvement.
1) Since I started boasting him on pillows in the football position (as opposed to low and at my side), he seems to eat without a fuss about 80% of the time.
2) I also pump for a few minutes right before I feed him so if there is any delay in let down (which I can't even tell when that is because I can't feel it), he won't get frustrated.
3) I got rid of all my bottle nipples which were newborn slow flows because I found that they seemed to release milk faster than they did when I first went back to work. I'm not sure if sterilizing them or basic use caused the nipple hole to open up, but I got rid of them all the same. I have replaced them with new slow flow nipples.
4) We haven't had any trouble with him refusing the bottle this week except last night at bedtime...he just wasn't interested.
5) Interestingly, we have followed doctors orders as far as giving him bottled breastmilk at bedtime (instead of nursing) to insure he gets all 4 ounces. I top him off with 2 oz. of boobie. As soon as he falls asleep, I pump. We are also adding 1/2 tbsp. of formula to his daytime breastmilk bottles to increase his calorie intake.
I added a pumping session in the morning and am pumping earlier at work so I can pump immediately after i get home (after he eats, of course). I've seen significant increases in my milk production despite the midnight formula bottle. Probably because I'm pumping after the midnight formula bottle. I even managed to pump 4 extra bags for the freezer stash this week.
Essentially, the only time he is nursing on the breast is throughout the night and in the early morning before I go to work. We have started co-sleeping and it's working since I found he is more accepting of it if I lie him on his side, back against a pillow so he isn't laying flat on the bed.)
With that said, I am glad to report that on Friday at his weigh in, the doctor said he had gained 1 oz. per day since his previous appointment two weeks ago. Great improvement!
We are not pushing solids right now because he simply refuses to eat them. I don't think the doctor really believed us when we told her he wouldn't eat it. Then she asked to see in his mouth and when she started to put the tongue depressor in his mouth, he tightened his lips up firm and shook his head from side to side refusing to open his mouth. He thought she was trying to feed him. Doctor said "Is this what he does?" and when my husband said yes, she said "No kidding!?" Nope. Then she tried again and he just SCREAMED AND SCREAMED and she looked at my husband and said..."Yeah, lets just wait a while on solids..." LOL!