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  • @llli*maddieb's Avatar
    Today, 09:51 AM
    No. Frankly I am shocked professionals who should know better would say such a thing to you. Would they say the same thing to a mother who had to be suddenly hospitalized and thus completely separated from her child? What about the mom who needs to start chemotherapy? The first rule of lactation assistance is meet the mother where she is. What I hear you saying is that nursing has become unbearable, - not unpleasant, but unbearable. If that is the case, that is where you are. Is cold turkey weaning ideal, at any age? No. Is it likely to make weaning harder on the child- and mom? Yes. But it is a huge stretch from that to suggest abrupt weaning is going to cause permanent emotional damage. If mom finds it harmful to her mental or physical health to nurse at all, for any length of time, then gradual weaning is simply not possible, and there are many ways to make the best of such a situation and maintain a loving connection. I agree entirely with DJs mom with those techniques such as shortening sessions for making nursing bearable and weaning more gradual. But again, you can only do what you can do. I also think that how much you discuss nursing ending with your child and what you say about it depends on the child. Telling my kids they were too big to nurse never went over well. I found distraction, changing the subject, or just saying "mommy cannot nurse now lets do X" worked better for me. I avoided discussing it overmuch when nursing hurt me- after all, it was...
    4 replies | 16 view(s)
  • @llli*beckyd0106's Avatar
    Today, 09:34 AM
    And we have tried to implement quite a few alternatives to so many milk sessions. It has always gotten the same response as now just now is more dramatic because we haven't nursed in 2 days. He's very intelligent higher needs child.
    4 replies | 16 view(s)
  • @llli*beckyd0106's Avatar
    Today, 09:33 AM
    I know it's upsetting and confusing. We went through the same thing last year when I injured my back and had to stop baby wearing and had to cut back and alter nursing a great deal. This isn't just about being uncomfortable. This is about mental health also and nursing is no good for him when I'm completely off the chart having full blown panic attacks that don't stop for days. It just seems like it's overstating it to imply that it will cause irreparable trust and relationship harm to stop nursing. He already knows that I am having a problem and went to the doctor. The first thing he asked me this morning was when is mommy going to be better for milkies. So I get it and it's heart wrenching. I guess I'm just tired of the guilt trips and implications that mom's need to do all the natural parenting things regardless of the toll it takes on their physical and mental health, which is at this point how I take the dramatic implications of weaning. I never wanted to force wean. I wouldn't be nursing a 3 yr old if I wasn't committed to him.
    4 replies | 16 view(s)
  • @llli*djs.mom's Avatar
    Today, 09:17 AM
    Well IMO it's pretty hard and confusing. At 38 months nursing is about much much more than food. It's a bonding part of your relationship that your child associates with you and love. And it is certainly about more than removing a pacifier. I would compare it more to suddenly losing a love transference object like a blanket or stuffed animal. The child associates it with you and love. Will he survive it? Yes. Just like he would survive losing you. But with no words or time to prepare that IS going to be painful and traumatic. One of the great things IMO and IME about nursing older children is the ability to communicate with them about the fact that they need to wean. And negotiate it with their buy in. Because nursing is a relationship between two people. Is there are ways you can be OK with doing that if you begin weaning and put some barriers in place? Some good ones that I know from experience work in that time frame are: getting rid of the sessions during the day that just happen out of boredom. Only nursing up and down from naps, if the child is legitimately hurt and going to bed and waking up. Having time limits on said sessions that your child can understand. Like "While we nurse Mommy is going to sing Twinkle Twinkle little star 3 times. When I am done singing it for the third time we are going to be all done. OK?" Beginning with these sorts of limitations while still honoring the fact that your child feels like this is a real need may be a way compromise. And in my...
    4 replies | 16 view(s)
  • @llli*beckyd0106's Avatar
    Today, 08:09 AM
    DS is 38 mos. Has still been nursing thru naps and nights and like 8 times a day so lots. Last week I got a very uncomfortable and not acceptable to me sensation during a nursing session which most people would be able to dismiss. However it retriggered severe OCD and anxiety panic attack issues. I'm scared to nurse and it stresses me out to nurse. We have gone cold turkey. It was fine first 2 days and now it's bad. I was told by an ibclc and a doula that this is unfair to him and will harm our bond. Is that legit? I am a single mom who is completely devoted to my son. I love him and give him all my time that I'm not at work for the most part. Is this really much more traumatizing than removing a pacifier or when we stopped baby wearing last year which was also a major issue for a while? I want to nurse but I need to be mentally not in hell and now I've had to start anti anxiety and anti depressant meds.
    4 replies | 16 view(s)
  • @llli*1sttimemummy's Avatar
    Today, 07:13 AM
    Thank you a lot for detailed reply., that's a huge work. I hope it will get better and it just a temporary thing. I've ordered the book, thanks a lot again.
    6 replies | 223 view(s)
  • @llli*mommal's Avatar
    Today, 07:05 AM
    :hug Of course not! What mom loves pumping?! But I agree completely with the PPs- don't drop the sessions. "Milk memory" (love that term!) worked in your favor once, but there's no reason to think that would be the case in the long term. Some moms are able to train their bodies to produce plenty of milk despite infrequent episodes of milk removal... But I think that is fairly rare and it's more likely that dropping a pump session is going to result in lower output over time.
    10 replies | 287 view(s)
  • @llli*mommal's Avatar
    Today, 06:58 AM
    Welcome to the forum and congratulations on making it through the first 14 weeks! Your baby's bottle intake sounds a little bit high if you go by the rule of thumb that a baby is generally going to consume about 1.5 oz per hour of separation from mom. (1.5 X 9 = 13.5) That being said, baby is also sleeping a very long stretch at night, so he may be taking in some extra calories from bottles so that he can sleep a long time at night. Most working moms try to keep bottle intake close to the 1.5 oz/hour standard because: - When baby eats a lot from bottles, he may become increasingly reliant on bottles and decreasingly interested in nursing, and that can shorten the duration of breastfeeding - High intake from bottles can result in demands for mom to provide unreasonable amounts of expressed milk Therefore, what a lot of moms do, in your situation, is to take measures to limit intake via bottle and nurse more often. Here are some things that can further those goals: - Break down the bottles into smaller portions. An average feeding at the breast is just 2-4 oz, and that is true throughout the first year. Many moms provide a mix of small bottles for daycare. For example, they might send a few 2-3 oz "feeding" bottles and also a few 1-2 oz "top-off" bottles. That way the care provider has to pause the feeding in order to reach for and warm up the top-off, a step which can result in the baby finding comfort in a pacifier or some cuddling, and which can also...
    1 replies | 56 view(s)
  • @llli*podutti's Avatar
    Today, 04:30 AM
    I don't seem to have a distinct morning with DS. His longest sleep stretch is usually maybe 2.5-3 hours first thing at night. If I so much as stir in the morning he will wake screaming to be fed. I typically feel quite empty in the morning and feel fullest in the middle of the night...and I really don't want to get up then to pump! I've tried pumping one side while feeding him in the mornings but it yields very little. He's a pretty constant nurser when we are together. I don't mind that at all, but I do not enjoy the stress of pumping and constantly worrying about getting enough milk!
    10 replies | 287 view(s)
  • @llli*ambaby2's Avatar
    Today, 01:02 AM
    My daughter is 10.5m. She has never been a big fan of the bottle - usually drinking 6-8oz while I'm away for an 8 hour day even before she had solids. I would send two bottles usually around 3.5-4oz. In the beginning my supply was great, then ok, and getting worse and worse. Last week I was down to pumping only 5oz a day. I figured I would be ok because most days her report says she doesn't really finish her bottles, and when my mom has her she's not interested in her bottles much at all and she has to work to get her to take them. so I figured I'd send 2 3oz bottles and go through my freezer storage which should last til around her birthday with maybe a little early cows milk in a sippy for practice. But then this weekend I got sick and everyday at work I pump 3.5oz. So I've had to use 3 freezer bags so that I can send 2 bottles every day, and I'm down to only 9 bags left. I'm taking nursing mom supplements and drinking lots of water so I'm really hoping it goes up but it seems like my stash isn't going to last til her birthday. The thing is though a lot of days her report actually shows her only eating 4-5oz of the bottles, I think the rest go to waste when she doesn't finish. She LOVES food - eats all the food groups... Chomps down chicken, ground beef, pasta, cheese, Greek yogurt, any fruit, green beans, peas, and will SCREAM at you if you have bread and don't give it to her. She still nurses happy... she nurses around 6am before work, then 5p after work,...
    0 replies | 34 view(s)
  • @llli*djs.mom's Avatar
    Yesterday, 11:56 PM
    This is the right advice. You don't want to go longer between sessions because it's all supply and demand. If you continue to miss the session eventually your body will assume that the pumping session missed is not needed and you will get your usual amount-2oz at the delayed time. However, FYI MOST women do see the greatest yield 1st thing in the morning. I could often get 4oz in 15 minutes or less when I got up to pee 1st thing in the morning and still had no problem feeding baby 25-30 minutes later. Because that pooling is always happening when you get your greatest break and you ALWAYS have to feed the baby in the morning. So if you WANT more milk in less time, you may want to add in that session and see what it yields for you and if it's enough, let it replace of your sessions during the day
    10 replies | 287 view(s)
  • @llli*djs.mom's Avatar
    Yesterday, 11:50 PM
    If you are too full and uncomfortable, don't wake the baby-PUMP! Having a small freezer stash should help alleviate the pressure for you to have to over pump at work. And now maybe you can move to 4 4oz bottles and not struggle and stress and work it out with 16oz bottle knowing you COULD pull and extra 3oz from the freezer if need be.
    13 replies | 829 view(s)
  • @llli*maddieb's Avatar
    Yesterday, 11:35 PM
    Hi and welcome! How frustrating for there to be pain so long. One thing I wonder if you have tried adopting a laid back position AFTER you have gotten baby well on the breast first by using breast shaping like the breast sandwich? There is a myth that laid back means baby latches all on their own. But in fact it is fine and often necessary for mom to help baby latch confortably, even in the laid back position. With laid back nursing, gravity pushes baby onto the breast rather than baby being pulled away as is the case with most other positions, so it may help the problem of baby wiggling and tilting head and 'falling off' the nipple into a more shallow, more painful latch, at least. Yes, this position promotes good self attachment as well, but that is not the only reason to do it. If baby cannot latch initially in this position, maybe you can still get some of the benefits. Basically what you would do is shape the breast to help baby get as good a latch as you can, then, scoot your bottom out and relax back against pillows or couch back or whatever you are doing. Also sometimes when moms are working on latch they focus on the mouth and head. Also we tend to focus only on whether baby can open wide when baby initially latches. But a wide gape is not always imperative for comfortable breastfeeding. babies are little, so the position of the entire baby is important for comfortable latch. Often latch can be made more comfortable even after after baby is already...
    1 replies | 68 view(s)
  • @llli*nbaldonado's Avatar
    Yesterday, 11:22 PM
    Hello, Moms. I am new to LLL. I am a mother of two, an American who lives in Ukraine. Healthcare here is often questionable, and I am wondering if perhaps I have been misdiagnosed with thrush, or if I simply have a resistant case. Hoping some of you moms may have some insights. I nursed my daughter successfully for 18 months and never had any problems. I am now nursing my two month old son and experiencing problems. When my son was one week old, I was diagnosed with mastitis. The lactation consultant and doctor said that it was due to my son not draining one side of the breast. Due to lasting high fever, I was prescribed antibiotics. Took the antibiotics for the recommended time and the mastitis cleared. Almost immediately after that, my nipples became sore and slightly red (almost more like bright pink). My son did not have the typical white "curds" in his mouth, but I noticed that when he ate, there was a tiny amount of dry white film on the outside of his mouth and on my nipple. The lactation consultant said it was thrush. She first treated me for three days with tea tree oil. When that didn't help, she put me on Nystatin (cream for me, a Nystatin solution for him-different than the drops they use in the US, but the same idea). I used that for one month. The symptoms seemed to repeatedly get better and then worse again, but never completely went away. I had deep breast pain for a while, in addition to sore nipples. The soreness in nipples was worst during...
    0 replies | 38 view(s)
  • @llli*raleigh.garth's Avatar
    Yesterday, 05:50 PM
    Hi there, Just wanted to start by saying I have learned so much from reading all the wisdom from you mamas for the past few months, and I am so grateful for this resource! I really hope it can help me solve this problem. Also, apologies in advance for my long-windedness! :o A little background: My babe is just 4 months today. He was born 6 weeks early, so his adjusted age would be 2.5 months I suppose. He started his life in the NICU and was nursed, bottle fed, and fed through a feeding tube during his 20 days there. Since coming home we worked really, really hard to become EBF; have been bottle free for about two months now. He has been gaining weight like a champ since leaving the hospital too, which is the most important thing. There were some supply issues in the beginning, but I have been on domperidone for a while which (along with nursing almost constantly and drinking tons of water) seems to have me producing enough for babe.
    1 replies | 68 view(s)
  • @llli*lllkaren's Avatar
    Yesterday, 04:17 PM
    Honestly, I'm not sure there's a reliable way to diagnose thrush unless baby has the white patches in his mouth. But from the existing research, the most likely symptoms appear to be burning nipple pain or shiny or flaky nipples, in combination with breast pain. I think the only way it can really be diagnosed is to try an antifungal treatment and see if it helps. If it does, it could be thrush, if it doesn't, it probably isn't. :huh LCs can't diagnose thrush, so if you want to get that checked, your OB would probably be the better choice. But if there's a chance it's a latch issue, an IBCLC can help you with positioning and getting a comfortable latch. Is the pain an occasional sharp stab, or is it more persistent and debilitating?
    1 replies | 56 view(s)
  • @llli*lllkaren's Avatar
    Yesterday, 03:50 PM
    I've collected some comments from moms on the Forums about different pumps and put them together here: http://ref.lllvawv.org/Breast_Pump_Reviews There are moms' opinions on that page about the Medela PISA, Ameda Purely Yours, and Spectra 2, but I don't have anything about the Ardo Calypso. I hadn't actually heard of that one before; I'll have to keep my eye out for reviews....
    1 replies | 118 view(s)
  • @llli*ldivanna83's Avatar
    Yesterday, 03:44 PM
    My baby has mostly stopped nursing overnight... She will sleep a solid 7-10 hours overnight. The day care provider is insistent on the feedings because my baby is exceptionally fussy (also according to her). She isn't able to soothe her or calm her so her default is hunger. I am confident that Gabriella (baby) is just adjusting to a new environment and now I'm wondering if she's sensing stress from the day care provider because I have seen other people calm her down whom she doesn't know very well. The routine I'm trying to get down for work days is, wake her up, nurse her right before going to day care. That way when she gets to day care she should have at least 2 hours before needing a feeding. I told day care not to let her go longer than 3 hours without a feeding (per pediatrician) but to feed on cue if she's hungry earlier. So she gets 4-5 bottles depending on how late I'm stuck at work. And yes, I would say she is eager to nurse when she sees me at night. The nursing actually seems more problematic on the days when I'm off and in the afternoon. I just had 2 days off with her and fed every 2/2.5 hours and she seemed to do ok all day... I've been scrambling through a nanny search today, but yes currently this day care is my only option :( Gabriella goes back to day care tomorrow. I think I'm going to pack 4.5 ounce bottles and see what happens. She was fed 4 ounce bottles on one of her 2 days last week and then 5 ounce bottles the second day. She...
    4 replies | 110 view(s)
  • @llli*bhacket4's Avatar
    Yesterday, 03:30 PM
    I'm being told by a friend of mine that is also an LLL leader (or was in the past) that I could possibly have thrush? Symptoms that I have include the baby being gassy, his having a diaper rash (not a yeast diaper rash just a red bottom).. and I have sharp shooting pain in my breasts quite often. Not my nipple, but the breast tissue or breast itself. I didn't think about it because I always thought I'd know if we had thrush by the white spots, but she said that sometimes the only symptom could be the shooting pains? Would I call my OB about this? LC? Or who? Also, in yall's opinion could this be thrush?
    1 replies | 56 view(s)
  • @llli*maddieb's Avatar
    Yesterday, 02:47 PM
    I do not see why your milk would suddenly not taste good, and since he nurses to sleep with no objection, it seems even more unlikely. If it were me I would try not offering as much water for a few days, and maybe even cut back on the food offered, and see what happens. But that is me. There is no reason you have to do this, you could just keep offering when it feels natural and see what happens. Some moms choose to hand express or pump to be sure milk production stays in good shape when baby is not as interested in nursing.
    3 replies | 94 view(s)
  • @llli*karaeubanks's Avatar
    Yesterday, 02:17 PM
    This just started two days ago. He nurses to sleep, but when it's not sleep time, I offer, he gets all excited, latches, and then unlatches, looks at me weird, and says "no." Sometimes he'll hang out without sucking, if he's sleepy. He eats three full meals a day, self-feeding yogurt, rice and beans, steamed vegetables, fruits, nut butters, everything. Sometimes he eats as much as an adult at a meal, it's amazing to me. He also drinks lots of water, but no other liquids. I'll keep offering him to nurse, but I wonder, could he be not liking the taste of the milk or something? Since he unlatches after a seemingly positive response to the offer to nurse? Or maybe it's just fullness?
    3 replies | 94 view(s)
  • @llli*det2922's Avatar
    Yesterday, 01:47 PM
    This is my second week back to work. My son is 14 weeks old. We've had a hellish time with nursing so far. He's been getting bottles of pumped milk occasionally for several weeks when it is too painful for me to nurse. Usually his bottles are 4.5 to 5 ounces. He sleeps through the night, usually about an 8 hour stretch and has since he was about 8 weeks old. Other than that he eats about every 2-3 hours. Right now I'm away from him for about 9 hours a day and in that time he's eating about 15 ounces. Is this a good amount? Should I cut his bottles down to 4 ounces each? He's home with my husband now, but in September he will start daycare, so I'd like to have him used to things before then.
    1 replies | 56 view(s)
  • @llli*mominoes's Avatar
    Yesterday, 12:23 PM
    Further update, we're on a one week break between daycares and I've been staying home to care for baby. First, he is still nursing just 3x during his normal daycare hours. There have even been a couple of times when I have offered him the breast thinking some fussiness might be due to hunger (since he was somehow finding the time and appetite to eat 6x at daycare) and he's taken a couple of sucks and then refused it! Second, my breasts have actually been getting engorged the past few days! Before I went back to work, baby's usual routine was to drain both breasts. Now he's often happy with just one breast per feeding (and again, feeding just 3x during what would be my workday/his daycare time). The result for the past few days has been that by early evening, at least one of my breasts is uncomfortably full of milk. I'm having to pull out all the techniques I used in the first couple of weeks (tickling, taking off clothes, etc) to keep him going at his evening feeds so that I can get comfortable enough to go to bed. Oh, and I've got milk dribbling and leaking everywhere, again harkening back to the first couple of weeks. Grrrr! I feel like this just confirms my suspicion that even the 19oz of milk that I managed to pull back to was TOO MUCH. I'm curious to see what his growth is like at his next checkup...and I'm seriously considering giving our pediatrician an earful about being told that 20-24oz of milk sounds "normal".
    13 replies | 829 view(s)
  • @llli*zambomommy's Avatar
    Yesterday, 12:17 PM
    Great that your pump output has increased. Regarding leaking during night time nursing, the same thing happened to me. I stopped leaking during night time nursing at around 6 months and restarted it at around 8.5 months, I am not sure what happened, but I now have to put lansinoh breast pads while I go to sleep. Regarding the increase in breastmilk, it could be because of the "milk memory". Your body could be producing what it needs based on the demand from the last few days. It is extremely hard to infer how our bodies work. I have had to delay pumping sessions when in meetings and I always saw an increase, but I resume my usual pump schedule the next day as I don't want my body to think the demand is low.
    10 replies | 287 view(s)
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