Today, 12:02 PM
Nursing my 3yo son and cosleeping/nursing overnight. Take heart! I have a relatively simple fix for you.
Whining has always been a non-starter for me, so I made it a priority to teach DS the nursing manners he needed for me to be my best self in response.
My recommendation is to be laser focused and 100% consistent in enforcing polite requests to nurse during the day. This will carry over to night time requests in about a week or two. If your child doesn't say please and ask without whining or hitting, keep this message: "I am happy to nurse when you ask by saying, "please may I nurse." I will not nurse you unless you ask nicely." Enforce this gently but firmly, even at night.
If your child learns to associate polite requests with nursing, with the natural consequence of rudeness being your unwillingness to nurse, she will learn quickly. By 2, nursing is, in large part, about tapping into a satisfying relationship with mum. Remember that a relationship is a two-way exchange, and it is not unreasonable to expect to be treated politely.
After doing exactly what I describe above, my son will often half-wake at night and say, "Mama, I love you. Can I please nurse?" It makes me so happy to be able to say yes to a request like that. It's all in how the request is framed! :)