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  • @llli*maddieb's Avatar
    Today, 10:29 PM
    Hi aranel. When a situation is this complicated (baby completely bottle fed and apparently having difficulty nursing) I truly think the best course is to see a board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) for a complete, private consult. Have you done this already or is this possible for you? I am not saying there is nothing you can do on your own. Of course there is- but an in person consult with someone experienced with getting a baby back to the breast is likely to save you a ton of time and trouble and very much increase your chances for success. The short answer is gradually. Once you can encourage baby to nurse with more vigor or interest, you can start slowly reducing supplements while watching weight gain and output- poops and pees. (Some breastfed babies stop pooping with much frequency at this age and in that case you would watch pees.) Once you can reduce supplements or as you do so, you can reduce the pumping. Nipple shields can actually be helpful tools if used properly. The same thing happened to me with my oldest- sent home with a nipple shield no one had even shown me how to put on! Ugh it drives me crazy. But if baby is apparently capable of latching without it, no need for a shield and best to avoid them. It is pretty unusual for a 7 week old who is gaining normally to be so sleepy at the breast. I wonder if baby is not nursing with much interest because baby is simply not hungry? To advise further, it would help to know how baby is gaining...
    1 replies | 30 view(s)
  • @llli*kirab's Avatar
    Today, 09:29 PM
    I'm in the same boat as you with my 6 month old. Since she was 4 months she has been waking every hour to two all night long, and will only settle back to sleep if I nurse her. It's been rough and I find myself constantly searching for a way to curb the wakings without a harsh method but have come to just accept that it's just a faze and someday I will forget how exhausted I was and miss the cuddles and how much she needed me. The last two nights she has given me a couple three hour stretches of sleep so fingers crossed this is the beginning of better sleep!
    7 replies | 488 view(s)
  • @llli*aranel's Avatar
    Today, 08:37 PM
    When my baby was born she had some breathing trouble and was on a Cpap for the first week of her life. Because of this I was unable to breast feed her and she got nipple confused. The hospital was -not- very helpful once I was discharged and didn't really help figure out how best help her nurse. They sent me home with a nipple shield and very little instruction. :cry At her first weigh in she hadn't gained enough weight I had total melt down at the doctors office. I had been trying to nurse her for hours at time with the nipple shield on and I had no idea she wasn't getting enough and passing out from exhaustion from trying. Her doctor told me to throw away the nipple shields and start pumping but keep offering her the breast... Shes 7 weeks old now and she will latch but she breaks suction and/or falls asleep very quickly at the breast. I hate pumping I am doing it every 2-3 hours round the clock and its killing me. I am scared to death to stop pumping because I worry she won't be getting enough milk. How do I safely transition her to the breast?
    1 replies | 30 view(s)
  • @llli*hhof0407's Avatar
    Today, 07:12 PM
    Also, I'm praying this is the culprit because this seems way more treatable than yeast. I have also been pumping and saving milk. I have not had the heart to throw it out even though I was told that due to my thrush diagnosis the milk should not be saved. Let's hope I can save my freezer stash for when I return to work!
    4 replies | 130 view(s)
  • @llli*hhof0407's Avatar
    Today, 07:06 PM
    The nipples do change color a little bit. Is it possible that one breast is worse than the other? Could it be possible that the trauma from the first few weeks of breastfeeding disaster is still causing the pain? He was really bad about creasing my nipples the first month or so. I had a line of scabs down the middle of the crease. The past few weeks they come out very minimally creased. I'm looking into this vasospasm a little more and using a heating pad right now to see if that helps.
    4 replies | 130 view(s)
  • @llli*peanutbutter7's Avatar
    Today, 12:06 PM
    Thanks, mommal. You are right that is exactly what has been going on. I am seeking support in all the wrong places, and trying to explain myself to people who aren't listening. It's sad but it is what it is. I'll definitely be using your response when asked about sleep. Last night was actually better, he isn't sleeping much longer stretches but he nursed back to sleep faster and was okay being put down again in his cosleeper (husband vetoed the bedsharing idea long ago, so a cosleeper was our compromise). I also tried offering the breast constantly in the evening, that may have helped too. Thanks for all the responses.
    10 replies | 200 view(s)
  • @llli*mommal's Avatar
    Today, 06:40 AM
    :ita I would also want to take the "meet the need, the need goes away" approach. As MaddieB said, a lot of the resistance is in our heads, not the kid's head.
    2 replies | 143 view(s)
  • @llli*mommal's Avatar
    Today, 06:38 AM
    :ita The foods that make adults gassy are not the ones that trouble babies, and babies are rarely troubled by gas, because it's normal for all babies. I think a lot of the idea that fussiness is caused by gas is simply due to the fact that infants are generally fussy and gassy- but that's correlation, not causality!
    7 replies | 307 view(s)
  • @llli*mommal's Avatar
    Today, 06:35 AM
    Do you ever notice any of the following: - Nipples blanching (turning white, or bluish purple, before returning to a normal color) - Nipple appearing pinched/wedged/ridged/creased/asymmetrical/shaped like a new lipstick after baby comes off the breast?
    4 replies | 130 view(s)
  • @llli*mommal's Avatar
    Today, 06:32 AM
    Hang in there, mama! I know it's particularly hard when you need sympathy from your friends/family and their response to "I haven't been getting much sleep" is "Here are the things you need to change in the way you parent in order to fix your life, and you'd better do them because what you are doing is wrong and will make things worse". I think that when you are in a situation in which your people aren't giving back what you need to hear, you do better if you tailor your message to them. What I mean is, don't waste your breath seeking support or sympathy or even empathy from people who can't or won't give it. Don't talk about sleep issues with hardcore sleep training advocates, because their only advice will be to start sleep training. Don't talk breastfeeding issues with people who think formula is the greatest, because all you will get from them is a recommendation to try some formula. If someone asks you about your baby's sleep, go with "Oh, he's sleeping well- for a baby. But you know what really interests me right now?" That way you can switch topics to something where your friends/family can give back, instead of needlessly hurting your feelings or undermining your convictions about how you want to parent. FTR, both my kids woke frequently at 4 months and I nursed them back to sleep every time. DD1 was a terrible sleeper until around 10 months, DD2 was much better- probably because I was a more relaxed mom and didn't care so much about wake-ups or...
    10 replies | 200 view(s)
  • @llli*maddieb's Avatar
    Yesterday, 11:03 PM
    So you think the pain you are having is a reoccurrence of the thrush or something else? Do you have any symptoms of vasospasm? Since your baby was never treated, re-occurrence of thrush is quite likely. Also I am pretty sure that thrush causing nipple pain is much more common than the inner ductal pain you were having previous to treatment with the diflucan. So it would make sense for thrush to reoccur as nipple pain I would think. There are many other things to treat thrush in both you and baby. It is truly stupid that your pediatrician will not prescribe medication to threat thrush in your baby, truly, truly stupid and personally I would not trust a pediatrician who is that stupid. But if that is the way it is, what about gentian violet? You can get that easily as an otc treatment. Haven't your LCs mentioned that? I mean it is right in the Newman protocol how to do it and everything. He invented the APNO you have been using and even he says that if it is not working you have to try something else! Not too long ago gv was pretty much the only option for effective thrush treatment - no one was giving baby OR mom diflucan, unfortunately, back then, and gv cured many a case of thrush in mom and baby. Yes it is a pain to use and stains skin (temporarily) and clothing. But it really works, lots of the time. Some moms with ongoing nipple pain of undiagnosed cause report success after using coconut oil topically. I disagree with this. Entirely. Back pain...
    4 replies | 130 view(s)
  • @llli*hhof0407's Avatar
    Yesterday, 07:06 PM
    I had ductal thrush and it was a burning pain that went all the way back to my shoulder blades and would linger for about an hour after nursing. I didn't know what was going on at the time and had similar thoughts as you; I thought about how natural childbirth was not a bad as that pain. Talk to your OB or Midwife and they can assess and treat you if that's the case. I would never have guessed that I needed to call my midwife for that since I didn't think that was their area, but luckily a lactation counselor I talked to suggested it.
    6 replies | 395 view(s)
  • @llli*hhof0407's Avatar
    Yesterday, 06:54 PM
    My LO is 10 weeks now and we have had a rough start nursing to say the least. He wouldn't latch by the time we left the hospital, or well was barely latching with a shield. We stopped using the shield by the end of week one, but he still didn't latch well. After seeing a Lactation Counselor and a few pointers he did a little better but I was still in pretty serious pain. Turns out I had ductal thrush. I was put on diflucan for one month and that cleared the internal pain I was experiencing. I am still having pretty terrible nipple pain. My LO was never treated for thrush. The pediatrician said that since he showed no signs of thrush there was no need to treat. However the IBCLC and Lactation Counselor both wanted him treated, but unfortunately don't have that ability. I have also been using a prescribed all purpose nipple cream with a steroid, antifungal, and antibiotic in it I think. I have used that cream for about 1.5 months. I've been taking probiotics and doing a grapeseed extract rinse after every feeding. I have seen two different IBCLCs and a lactation counselor but they don't have any other suggestions for me. The don't believe that he is tongue tied and he has a good latch these days. I feel like the thrush is still there on the nipple, otherwise I feel crazy! My midwife said that the pain is just a learning curve, that the thrush is gone now since I don't have the shooting back pain. The pain feels like a raw scab being irritated. I also can feel my letdown...
    4 replies | 130 view(s)
  • @llli*peanutbutter7's Avatar
    Yesterday, 04:40 PM
    Thanks. My husband hasn't been very involved in the baby's day to day care since the first 2 weeks. He also travels a lot. Our baby can't really be soothed by him nor anyone else. My mom watched him during my dr. appt last week and he cried the entire time. She has raised 4 kids, so I know she did her best to soothe but he was inconsolable until I picked him up. He must be experiencing separation anxiety early on top of Everythjng else. So I really can't leave him with anyone and expect to relax or sleep knowing he's suffering. But I plan to visit my mom more regularly in hopes that baby will grow to love/trust her. I'll just have to make it through somehow without much sleep.
    10 replies | 200 view(s)
  • @llli*jessiesmum's Avatar
    Yesterday, 04:37 PM
    Don't apologise, we've all been there! First thing to do is go back to nursing on demand if you haven't already. it really is the fastest way to get baby back to sleep, and additionally the Oxytocin released during breastfeeding will help you get back to sleep more quickly after each waking. Following that I agree with all of Maddieb's suggestions outlined above. Any help you can get with housework etc will really go a long way to helping you relax. If someone can make you a sandwich or a salad that you can just grab for example, these are extra precious minutes saved, minutes which you can spend napping with the baby. If you aren't already bedsharing with baby then it is really worth considering making your sleep surface safe and reading up on safe practices. Maddie's reccommendation of Sweet Sleep is a brilliant book which would help you with bedsharing.
    10 replies | 200 view(s)
  • @llli*maddieb's Avatar
    Yesterday, 04:26 PM
    When I would get super sleep deprived it really helped to put together one decent stretch of sleep. Not every night, just every few nights. 4- 6 hours would usually be enough to help me feel like a new woman for at least a couple days. How to do this when baby is waking hourly? Get help if you can! It actually is true that your baby does not NEED to eat that often. So if it will help you, have someone else care for baby so you can put together a longer sleep stretch. They probably will not even need to feed baby although that is ok too if it helps. Just know you are doing this for your sake - to get enough sleep to function- and not because it is somehow harming your baby to nurse baby to sleep. It isn't, I promise. Oh sorry posted before you finished... It has always flabbergasted me when people would be concerned that a baby might become "too attached" or "too needy" or "overly dependent!" I feel sorry for mothers who are made to feel this way about their babies. Of course a helpless baby is utterly and completely dependent on their mom. This is true no matter how the mother parents. Babies are babies and their needs do not change based on how they are parented. If you understand anything about normal human brain development, the last thing we need to be worrying about is TOO MUCH attachment. Is there any LLL or Attachment parenting group around you? Can you maybe look up parents who share your philosophy on meetup or yahoo groups? It really does help to...
    10 replies | 200 view(s)
  • @llli*peanutbutter7's Avatar
    Yesterday, 04:25 PM
    Did it again! Anyway, from day one I felt good about nursing to sleep and I planned to do it always, but lately my mommy and me group has gotten their ideas (which I scoffed at at first) into my head. I am just so tired. I have had to defend my parenting choices and dodge questions about what I do (or don't do is more like it) from the beginning and I think I'm starting to lose confidence and wonder if they are right and I'll raise a needy, overly dependent child who will never do anything on his own. I am always being told by family and friends that my baby is too attached and after so much of this and not having anyone who parents the way I do to talk to, it got to me. I will do my best to continue following my baby's lead by feeding on demand and for comfort if need be.
    10 replies | 200 view(s)
  • @llli*maddieb's Avatar
    Yesterday, 04:15 PM
    Gas is a normal byproduct of digestion and everyone has gas multiple times per day. Stomach sounds are also a normal part of digestion. Adults don't usually think about it or notice as we have lived with it forever. A newborn baby is trying out an entirely new digestive system and so gas is very new and sometimes upsetting. I honestly do not know if anything a mother might eat might make her baby gassy. People claim this all the time, but it actually makes little sense. It is not as if mom eating beans = baby eating beans. The baby is eating breastmilk, and species specific breastmilk is the only natural food for a mammalian infant. If it was so easy to make breastmilk somehow not pleasant or palatable with diet, humans and indeed all mammals would have died out long ago. Prehistoric humans populated most of the globe and so humans in particular have long eaten a very variable diet while being a very successful species. A very small minority of babies will react to certain food proteins that they get from mom's diet very indirectly via breastmilk. Usually dairy, which is interesting because of course dairy products are made from breastmilk- but the wrong kind for a human baby! But the reaction caused by a dairy protein allergy is NOT gas, or only gas, typically.
    7 replies | 307 view(s)
  • @llli*peanutbutter7's Avatar
    Yesterday, 04:08 PM
    Sorry im pretty sleep deprived
    10 replies | 200 view(s)
  • @llli*peanutbutter7's Avatar
    Yesterday, 04:03 PM
    Thank you for knocking some sense into me. I am so lost right now and desperate that
    10 replies | 200 view(s)
  • @llli*maddieb's Avatar
    Yesterday, 02:11 PM
    There is an old LLL saying. "Meet the need and the need goes away." How would you feel about nursing your 3 year old when she asks? 3 year olds are incapable of reasoning. They have not developed that part of their brain yet. They can learn with a ton of repetition, but they cannot reason. It is not the same thing. Reasoning comes at more like age 7. Telling her there is not enough milk, or that she is a big girl etc. is probably not going to work. Also, these things are not true, really, are they? I mean, she is not a big girl. 3 year olds are not big compared to adults or any child over about 6. They are small and they know it. Why do you have to "get down to her level?" Because she is small. She is much, much closer in size and mental ability to her sister than to you. Also in what sense is there not enough milk? She wants to nurse. It is probably not really about the milk. If there really is not enough milk for her, she can discover that on her own. When my third child was born, her closest sibling was 6 and he had been weaned for almost 2 years. Yet he wanted to nurse. He also wanted to have his clothes changed on the changing table and to be put into his booster even though he was capable of getting into the seat and buckling it up himself. My husband and I did those other things, and eventually he stopped asking. But I would not nurse him. After many months of this, I realized there was no reason to not let him nurse if he wanted. The resistance was all in my...
    2 replies | 143 view(s)
  • @llli*maddieb's Avatar
    Yesterday, 01:52 PM
    Who is telling you all this and what is their expertise? What you have described being told is pretty standard sleep training advice. You will find it in many books and blogs and from people who make their living putting babies and their families on unnecessary sleep and feeding schedules. The problem with this advice is that it has no basis in any study or evidence. There is absolutely no evidence at all that nursing a child to sleep creates or reinforces "bad habits." Also, this advice is based on a denial of facts about infant sleep and nursing behavior-- that human infants (and other similar mammals) normally cycle in and out of sleep much more quickly than older children or adults and when they wake they wake more fully and require comforting back to sleep. That many babies start sleeping for shorter stretches at 3-6 months than previously, this is part of normal sleep progression and is not usually in any way a "regression." That babies nurse to sleep and nurse for comfort as the natural course of things, so whether or not baby actually "needs" to eat is irrelevant when talking about whether a baby needs to nurse. That denying babies this does not change or "improve" sleep for babies, and it can even cause breastfeeding issues. So if these ideas you are being told do not make sense to you, there is a good reason. Trust your instincts. As far as what to do to get more sleep, my best advice is to bedshare all or part of the night. Here are some ideas that...
    10 replies | 200 view(s)
  • @llli*jessiesmum's Avatar
    Yesterday, 01:52 PM
    The first thing I want to say is you are being fed a load of rubbish - please don't swallow it. Do you ever wake in the night and need a sip of water from the glass on the nightstand? So does baby, but his fluids come from you instead of the glass. Sleeping is a thirsty business. Additionally, baby wants comfort on waking, and that's what you are. Comfort. The world is still new, it's big and it's scary, and even worse, it's quiet and dark, and baby just wants Mom, breasts are soft, warm and safe, and there's free milk too. It's biologically built into baby to nurse to sleep, to nurse on waking, to nurse for food, for thirst, and for comfort. Imagine how you might feel if you were denied a biological need. Not great, you'd probably feel a little cheated huh?! I nursed my baby through every single nightwaking, and now most nights she will happily do a 6-7 hour stretch at 9 months. Breastfeeding is the best parenting tool you have at this time, and there is absolutely no evidence to support the idea that nursing on cue will harm your child in anyway, though conversely there are popular ideas in attachment parenting that responding to needs and wants of babies can actually encourage a greater level of independence later on in childhood, as children feel more secure.
    10 replies | 200 view(s)
  • @llli*peanutbutter7's Avatar
    Yesterday, 01:13 PM
    My 14 week old is going through the 4 month sleep regression and I am being advised my someone to stop breastfeeding to sleep at every waking (since there are more now) in order to avoid reinforcing the wakings and creating an even stronger nursing to sleep association. I was told that he doesn't need to eat at every waking and that its evident since he doesn't always nurse for long at each waking. He wasn't waking in any consistent way to eat at night before the regression but was starting to sleep 3-5 hours during the first stretch. How do I know what wakings to feed and which ones to not to feed? I don't think this is going to work, he's going to want the breast and I fear denying it will only create longer more frustrating awakenings. I am being told not to create or reinforce any bad habits during this time as they and the more fragmented sleep will become permanent. He is also becoming more dependent on the swing during this difficult time, which worries me. Can anyone offer any advice or tell me how they went through this period? I want to nurse and comfort my baby but am also afraid making him into a worse sleeper and regretting it later. Help! Thank you.
    10 replies | 200 view(s)
  • @llli*layne.cough's Avatar
    Yesterday, 10:36 AM
    Yesterday and last night she nursed just fine. Today she was gassy and I could hear her tummy gargle and rumble just before I tried to nurse her. She wasn't interested in nursing so I tried to soothe her and burp her. I got some burps out of her and she farted quite a bit and then I tried nursing again and she latched and ate just fine. So I'm assuming that the reason she doesn't nurse sometimes is if she is gassy. It also seems like some foods that I eat may make her gassy.....is that possible? If so, which foods should I be eating vs not eating? Any dinner type meals that I should avoid?
    7 replies | 307 view(s)
  • @llli*blueeyedgirls's Avatar
    May 28th, 2016, 11:56 PM
    I have two girls one just turned 3 and a 16 mo old. I never completely weaned my 3 yo and she has continued to nurse only first thing in the morning since my second daughter was about 3 mo old. Over the last 6 months my 3 year old has had increasing intentional aggressive behavior toward my 16 month old. She will push, hit or pull her hair and run off laughing. We are positive parenting and will take her, get down on her level and tell her that it is not ok to do x behavior and remove her from area. We live with my sister and she has a 13 month old who my 3 yo is only rarely aggressive toward. It is almost alway directed toward her sister. I feel like it is affecting the development of their relationship. Now how I think this is linked to breastfeeding. My 16 month old is obsessed with with nursing and gets to nurse before and after naps and before bed. My 3 year old loves milk and would love to have it more but has been ok with boundaries for just morning nursing, but has recently started asking frequently throughout the day for milk when I am nursing her sister or when she gets up from a nap. Twice in the last week she has had meltdowns crying for 20+ minutes that she wants to have milk when waking from a nap. I tell her I don't have enough milk, she's a big girl and doesn't need lots of milk anymore and that she had more milk when she was a baby like her sister but there is nothing I have said to reason with her and have her accept it. She just says...
    2 replies | 143 view(s)
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