Yesterday, 11:13 PM
My oldest child never threw tantrums. Ever. I thought I must be an awesome parent, at least in this area. Then came my second child and I lost that delusion!
Second son had such intense, scary tantrums I was afraid he might hurt himself. I was so freaked out I asked our pediatrician what to do. He was (and is) our third pediatrician who we love because he never acts condescending, is entirely positive about breastfeeding and bedsharing, is generally awesome. We trust him.
He said "put him somewhere he cannot hurt himself and let him have his tantrum." I was amazed. Really? Not try to help him? Not try to stop it? I could not get my mind around doing nothing in the face of these terrible tantrums. So I kept trying to keep my son from having tantrums. Over time, I learned some things that helped prevent or avert tantrums. But in the end I also learned that it really is true that sometimes he simply wanted something that I could or would not provide for him, and there was no avoiding it, he just needed to have his tantrum about it. Then it would be over and we could go on with life.
Third child also tantrums, at 4, she still does on occasion. She had one today over not being allowed to watch TV. She is funny, she will cry and scream and then be happy as a clam afterward.
Basically, do not fear the tantrums, is my point. For many kids this is how they deal with discomfort, frustration or disappointment, until they are old enough to learn to deal with these...